Friday, August 31, 2012

It's All About Me ~ In Pictures Part Trois!

"You can't lie to your soul."

Never in all my years have I been so happy to see August 31st.  I know I probably say that every year but this year was especially tough.  "31 days of Self Portraits" was a long road this year.  Self reflection is always a good thing but that doesn't mean you're always in the place for it.  My mind was so many other places and on so many different things that finishing this project (only missing one day when I dropped my Droid into the ocean) seemed impossible,  Too much going on to spend 30 minutes or more thinking about myself and it was not only tough to get together but emotionally exhausting.  I just didn't have it in me.

With both kids out of school today I took them out for the day so we wouldn't have to sit around the house.  Owen is getting over Croup and River is just starting in on something.  Both kids (and me) were up all night.  There was a lot of whining and hacking involved and I slept between them in Owen's bed while they both wrapped their hot little bodies around me.  I was so comfortable but I took one for the team and in doing so, god almost zero sleep.  Of course the kids we up bright and early which just confuses the hell out of me.  I got them though, I ignored the hell out of the pitter patter of little feet until I just couldn't anymore. I needed to at least attempt to get a few more minutes in before I joined the living.

So, as opposed to taking two kids who didn't feel all that great to the park where they could run themselves down, we went to the mall with promises of Auntie Anne's pretzels and strawberry lemonade.  This is a real treat for them because I don't let them drink juice on the regular and often refuse them at the mall but I was feeling generous and I wanted them to come willingly while I found something cute, black and plain to wear to an upcoming wedding.  Harder than you might think to find such a frock.

Now I love my kids, don't get me wrong but to say that they were anything less than little assholes at the mall would be a total lie. They argued with each other, snapped at me, River actually hit me in the stomach at one point.  Now I know she was quickly sorry for this when I grabbed her drink from the other hand and slammed dunked it into the trash can but by that point the damage was done.  I wanted to scream and River whined all the way back to her car seat about her fucking drink as I chanted to myself...

I do not spank my children.....
I do not spank my children.....
I do not beat my children.......
I do not spank my children....

I didn't even react when River kept feeling up all the mannequins...

I was able to contain myself by finding my happy place which is a 12 hour car trip away right now and we headed home.  Perhaps the kids just weren't up to a trip to the mall.  I meant well and thought they would like it but once I mentioned a possible pretzel, they saw red and didn't want to do anything else and Owen kept bitching for the stroller.  Lesson learned.  Offer them nothing and make them go anyway.

Anyhoo,  we made it out of the mall and all the way home with a healthy dose of elevated Sirus radio.  River whined, I turned it up.  It needed to happen before my time alone became a mad dash to the boarder.

When we got home there was a box in the mailbox and a box on the porch.  Both had been delivered while we were out.  I had ordered Owen a new pair of blue slip on Chucks for school and the Ray Bans I had ordered for my birthday finally came.  This is the first time I have ever owned a pair of sunglasses that cost over $29 and colour me excited!  They're the Jackie O glasses and they are fucking perfect!  I can roll my eyes back into my head and not a single soul would have any idea!  Do something stupid!  I'm totally prepared now!

Please don't hate.  I'm a firm believer that all hot guys wear Oakleys and that chicks should wear Ray Bans.  I get that these aren't the glasses that most think of when they think of Ray Bans but Wayfarer have just been done to death.

So, this is me today, hanging out with the boy in the backyard again and kissing the sky that I don't have to do this tomorrow!  Yay me!  31 days of self- portraits is no more!!

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.”

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