Look at this walk of death you must ascend to get to American Radiology. That does not give me a warm and fuzzy.
Also, as my friend pointed out, hold old are these phones on this sign bitching about my phone usage. Like I could use it in there anyway. You're in a fucking bomb shelter!
After I handled the shit at American Radiology, I went back to get my kids from the pool and we went to lunch with our friends. Then, I met one of them for a pedicure. I swear I could do that everyday. Paying someone to massage my legs and paint my toes. I don't even give a shit that she made a crack about the black nail polish. It was worth it!
So now I sit here waiting for my friend to pick me up for a night of debauchery that I have so earned. This will be my birthday celebration, well, in my eyes anyway. I'm planning to drink like a fish and swim home. Here's to hoping I keep my pants to myself this time, keep my tongue in my own mouth and don't drunk text any of my friends. No promises.
This is me today, waiting for an ultrasound at American Radiology and thinking to myself, Coral, you give me a coral gown? Like this isn't degrading enough.
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."