Thursday, August 2, 2012

It's All About Me ~ In Pictures Part Trois!

Today started off kind of shitty.  For whatever reason I got to sleep really late last night. Of course when I say "late" I mean "early" this morning.  I got five hours of sleep so I really don't have anything to bitch about, but I will anyway.  Sometimes I can sleep on a few hours and be fine and other times, like today it just hurts.

I had a mammogram scheduled for today so I had to drop the kids off at a friend's house and then come back across town to get felt up b a stranger.She was nice and all but her hands were freezing.  Just a public service announcement but it you touch boobage for a living, invest in a hand warmer or at least blow on the first.  I swear this woman, as nice as she could be but she was part vampire because she felt dead.

Anyhoo, this is my third mammogram and by far the worst.  I guess I should feel lucky I have bigger boobs because this must me a medieval torture device of a B cup.  I can't even imagine how you begin to smear those puppies across the vice grips.  The lady said sometimes those woman cry the entire time.

While it only hurts for a second, it really, really hurts.  AND, they do it four times, twice per boob.  By the forth and final time when she said, "Hold still, no breathing!"  I felt like my body was going to explode so when she said "Just one more minute."  I all but cried.  It was excruciating. That time when she unhooked the tit flattener, I stumbled backward and nearly passed out. Thankfully she was there to catch me.  I felt like an idiot but the pain was unbearable.  Not enough to make me not go every year because that would just be stupid, breast exams save lived, but it hurts.

After that I had an excellent conversation with a friend who played "Devils's Advocate" with this Chick-fil-A bullshit.  It was fun.  I wish more people could do that sort of thing and be strong enough to hear the other side in full detail.  Most aren't.  Bottom line, using religion as an excuse to discriminate against someone is wrong, but I digress.....

The kids and I then went to the mall because I needed to go bra shopping.  I enjoy bra shopping just about as much as I enjoy chewing on rusty nails but I'm proud to report that I seem to have almost dropped a cup size.  I'd like them to be even smaller still but there is a possibility at this point that is a pipe dream.  More than a handful but I may be stuck with it.  Whateves.

It also sucks to take your kids bra shopping with you, so degrading.  My favorite part was when I left the kids in the dressing room to get a different bra and River crawled under the door with two black bras on her head and followed me into the store as Owen laughed from around the corner.  Sigh....I know he talked her into it.

When we were heading home, I could tell I was crashing.  I would have loved an orange juice but as we were in the mall, I grabbed the closest thing I could find which was a block of peanut butter fudge from Bass Pro Shops.  It wasn't horrible and the kids seem to like it but it was too much and I fell asleep as soon as I made it home.  I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open now and will probably take another nap.  Not good, I know.  Totally my fault as I haven't really had a meal today but I'm just honestly not hungry.  I hate that.

Leftovers for dinner, I promise.

So, this is me today, before the rain, and the sugar crash.

"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children".

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