Though You Grow Old Before Me, You're Still My Baby Girl

Oh my River......

As I sit here today gearing up to have lunch with friends to celebrate my daughter's third birthday I find it almost laughable when I think of where I was before she busted through the door that was my uterus. She's such a source to be reckoned with that I can't imagine a day in our lives without her. She drives me crazy and at time is absolutely insufferable but I wouldn't have it any other way. As I told a friend when her daughter (who has remotely the same temperament) was younger, "She may be a pain in the ass to raise but Oh what a great adult she'll be! I'd rather have my daughter grow up to be a bitch than a doormat!"

Turns out, I got the best of both worlds. River is sweet but unyielding. Kind but unapologetic. As beautiful in her treatment of other as she is in my photographs of her and she never makes excuses for finding herself just as deserving as others. She gets that from me....shhhhhhh. She shares well, offering her toys to others but is the first to say, "Hey, it's your turn!" She gets that from her brother.

She really is a dream.

What the hell did I do before she came along???

Three years ago:

I would have smacked you if you told me a blond chick could ever have my personality.
I never knew a 3 year old could wear so much black and look so good doing it.
I didn't own a single hair bow. Now YOU have well over 200.
I would have never guessed that a big brother could be this gentle or sweet.

I never knew a kid could wear the same size shoes for two seasons.

I never thought someone related to me could have lips like that and ohhhh those lips....
I never thought behind such beautiful blue eyes could be such ferocity.
I had no clue what a loving big brother Owen would be.

I couldn't have imagined getting a call from my daughter's school, "Hi, we need you to come pick your daughter up. She punched some fluffy chick in the throat." Now I can totally see that happening.

I never knew hearing my daughter say "Because I said so Momma!" would be so cute.
I didn't understand how someone could favor one child over another...and I still don't.
I would have told you that you could have a daughter without all that princess shit. I was wrong. We asked for a daughter and got a princess. I think that shit happens through osmosis because it IS NOT my doing. We don't even own Cinderella.
I never thought I'd be so excited to see my daughter open a Cherry Jam doll. (Thanks Penny!)
I never thought watching my daughter stomp her foot and yell would be so cute that not laughing was impossible.
I never thought I'd be looking for the perfect colour pink for a Strawberry Shortcake birthday party.

I could have only dreamed of hearing my daughter in the tinniest voice yell, "Wild boys, wild boys, wild boys!"

I never thought I'd be so happy to hold up two shirts and have my daughter pick the black one.
I never thought I'd have a daughter that would scream "YES MA'AM!" When I correct her with a "No ma'am!"
I would have never believed that my tiny three year old (who weighs 6 pounds more than her brother did at 6 months old) could eat him under the table. It's shameful!
We didn't have a piano for forced piano lessons!
I never knew I could be so happy to look at my daughter and see myself. It usually happens when she's sucking her bottom lip in and there's always some attitude involved but whatever. I'll take what I can get.

I would have never believed that a two year old could be my muse.
I didn't know the Strawberry Shortcake theme song by heart. I. Sing. It. In. My. Sleep.
I never thought I'd buy fruit because it is represented in Berry Bitty City. Plums, Raspberries, Strawberries, Oranges, Cherries. I can't make my daughter understand that there is no Lemon Meringue fruit.
I never thought I'd envy my daughter's clothes.
I didn't have a castle in my house.
I didn't know so much shit could fit under one roof.
I never thought I'd dance this much.
I never thought I'd be so afraid that my long haired children would find the scissors.

I didn't think it was so important to keep the things I love in my life. I certainly want my daughter to know that it's OK to be more than a mom when her time comes.


When I look at my daughter I see myself...only better. Smarter, prettier, funnier. On her third birthday I can already tell that things are going to come easy for her. She's just so quick and she figures things out with little effort on her part. She must get that from her father because it doesn't come from me.

River. We chose the perfect name for her. I can't in a million years see my daughter taking shit from anyone at any age. She doesn't wait for things to move out of her way, she blasts through them leaving a wake of destruction in her path. I'm so proud of her! She's just what I wanted in a girl!

So some advice for my daughter to hold on to as she enters her third year of life.

Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.


Always take responsibility for yourself and what you do, even if it makes you look bad. There is no bigger bitch than the one who blames everyone else for everything that "happens" to her.

Try not to run your mouth and when you do, stand firm behind the shit you say.

Everyone in my life has earned their place and I suggest the same for you. There's nothing wrong with qualifying friends. If you just take whatever comes your way you will end up with a hodgepodge of people you don't even like.

Always look back before you back your car up. It really isn't that difficult. You're only three and you've almost been run over twice by some moron who didn't bother.


Never back down. Right is right. You may lose things at times because you stand firm but if it was that important it wouldn't be in question anyway.

If you want to cry, cry. There's no shame in being sad.

One is silver and the other gold....because cheap gold tarnishes. Save your money.

You won't get out of this house until you can wash your own clothes, cook your own food, tell someone to kiss your ass and defend yourself verbally and the same goes for your brother. Don't like those rules? Get comfortable. It's going to be a very long fifteen years.

Never curtail your imagination. Nothing is ever too crazy to try at least once.

Daddy says that Momma lives in a "constant state of conflict." I agree. Fuck it. I may get shit on once but I've never been shit on twice by the same person. I don't allow it and neither should you.

If someone ever asks you to witness the birth of a child, do it. It is amazing!

If someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore, Move. The. Fuck. On. You can quote me on that. Life is way too short for other people's shit and you are amazing! Tell them to kiss your ass as you're walking away.

Don't waste your time on haters. They aren't worth it.

Tomorrow isn't promised so kick some serious ass today so you can go out with a knowing smile on your face.

How this little angel in pink became my big beautiful girl in red is a mystery to even me.

Courage, determination, pride...that's what little girls are made of. At least mine is.



Happy 3rd Birthday Baby Girl!!!