Thursday, December 15, 2011

I Can See My Crotch!!!

You skinny girls won't easily understand this, but just bare with me.

I think a good fitting pair of jeans is tough to find for any woman but if you're of the chunkier persuasion (as I am) it gets even tougher. I might venture to say it's been damn near impossible. This is the problem with jeans for us big girls, everything is made of stretchy material which is great, for the first twenty minutes. Then you wear them, bend over once or twice and those bitches are too big. I've never understood why everything made for big girls is made of stretchy material. Just make my size. If it fits me I don't need it to stretch, right? Screw that "breathing with me" bullshit!

The photo above is me in my regular jeans and I don't mind saying I've got them pulled up to my chin and a belt wrapped around in order to get them to stay on because they're a little big for me but even if they weren't, they're ill fitting. How much material does one girl need between her legs? As a bigger girl, I can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen my crotch. I mean I know it's there but now in my new jeans I can see it and even grab it like Michael Jackson when he was newly white. It's a big deal. I paid twice as much for them as I think I've ever paid for a pair of jeans and they were on sale but it doesn't matter. It's nice to find a company that understands not all women's asses and thighs are created equal.

I love shopping at Lane Bryant whose tag line should be "Cute Clothes for Big Girls!" But even that has it's limitations. Here's the problem, or one of them. RASH GENERALIZATION ALERT! I think Lane Bryant clothes are made for black women. The reason for this is both in the colours of their clothes and the cut. Yeah, I know we're all the same on the inside, but our asses are completely different.

If Lane Bryant sells a black t-shirt, you can bet your ass that is comes in baby blue, deep purple, bright green and an orange that I'm certain you can see from the moon. In my (mostly) Irish opinion, those colours just don't look good on bright white skin. I know I look like a corpse in any of those colours I mentioned. As far as the cut, I can almost never wear pants from Lane Bryant. I find that there is extra material on the thighs as if expecting me to have a bigger ass. While I'm a big girl, I just don't think my ass is vast enough for Lane Bryant pants. When I've tried them on I've sometimes been left with small empty pockets of material on my thighs that confounds me.

In my opinion it's more socially excepted to be a heavy black woman in this country than it is to be a white one. I'm not feeling shunned mind you, I'm just saying that black women seem to have more stores geared to them, (I.E. Lane Bryant, The Avenue and Catherines) and if you do a search for heavy black woman and heavy white woman, you could find two like sized women with two completely different outlooks on their style and appearance. After my quick Google search of "Heavy Black Women" and "Heavy White Women" I found only things to support my theory. I found heavy black women that take great care of themselves, dress up in clothes that are body conscious and wear colours that would just look foolish on light coloured skin. I also found several blogs, all by heavy black women (one in my own town) that were just about
being a kick ass, self assured heavy black woman. I found absolutely nothing like that for white women. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but I didn't come across it. What I did come across were blogs by white women about their struggles to lose weight or find clothes that fit them. Ahhhh, full circle moment.

When I Googled "Heavy black women" I got a few photos I didn't want, like a twenty year old photo of Color Me Badd (WTF?) but I also found perfect examples of what I'm talking about. I'm not making fun of any of these women, just showing there is a difference.

Here are a some examples:

I'm not trying to say that black women are overall better dressers because I don't know that to be the case. I just think when something is more socially acceptable, perhaps that just naturally breeds more confidence. I didn't search hard for the photos and I didn't ask for certain ages but while the heaviness and age of these women is across the board, some are workin' it while some have just completely given up. Why? Maybe because that's what society expects of them. Me, I'm a little different because I think my shit doesn't stink but most people aren't like that. I think it doesn't matter how big or small you are, but how you feel about yourself. If you weigh 3oo pounds and want to wear a bandaid to check the mail, I think it kicks ass if you have enough confidence to do it. Most people don't.

Me, I'm just glad I can see my crotch.

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