Monday, August 15, 2011

It's All About Me ~ In Pictures Part Deux


It was sunny outside today for about 20 minutes and then the rest of the day was a rainy shitty mess. I'm glad we've gotten rain lately because my lawn is a nice shade of green instead of an even hue of baby shit brown, but I'm done now. I think we've had plenty. I'd like to be able to sit on the grass without having to sit on plastic or worry about the muddy prints my dog leaves on the carpet.

I got a Kindle for my birthday from my husband and then Amazon gift cards from both his parents and mine. It took some doing to figure out how to use a GC to purchase a Kindle book but I worked through it. First purchase, The Complete Twilight Saga. I had to represent. I'm diggin' it so far.

I didn't feel so great so we sat around the house most of the morning doing nothing before we went to Walmart to pick up a few things. Against my better judgement I let River walk instead of riding in the cart because I wasn't interested in hearing her bitch about it. "No cart Momma, no cart!" gets really old after the 50th time you hear it screamed into your ear.

We got what we needed and we paid, but while we were in line Owen started in with the "Momma, you said we could see the trains. You promised momma!" He was right. I'd promised him that we could visit the train isle filled with every train he already owns and I'd forgotten. So, after we paid, we went back to that isle. It was poring anyway. River was being a pill and Owen was running in front of the cart, too far and he'd disappear from time to time annoying the shit out of me. Part of me wants to say to him, "Remind me to tell you some day who Adam Walsh is" but I stop myself daily. I certainly think of him whenever I can't see either of my children in a store.

Anyhoo, we get to the train isle and I let both kids run around in it while I check my email with one eye. Other people were in the isle but I didn't care so I didn't really pay them any mind, and then I hear it. A voice that is clearly talking to me. Ugggggg, can't a sista get some me time?

I reluctantly look up to the lankiest fucker ever, totally eyeballing me. I said, "What?" I thought it was 1/3 nice enough for the situation and 2/3 'do I look like a people person?"
He asked me how I was doing and in a voice that was purposely terse I said, "I'm fine." and went back to my business of ignoring him. It was quiet for a few seconds but that utopia wouldn't last. I think I actually rolled my eyes when he spoke again as I watched both my kids with both eyes, sure Lanky Mc Lankenstein was going to abscond with them.

"You don't have a ring. You're not married?" Now I rolled my eyes. Personal question alert. I shouldn't have to wear my beautiful wedding ring out in this humidity just to get this fucker off my ass.
"I'm married." Short and to the point, right? I gestured to my children as if to say, and I'm busy. I mean not every girl in Hazzard County gets all a flutter when she sees Mr. Whatthefuck in Walmart. In fact if I were 41, single and pathetic and I met Mr. Dreamy British hot sweet ass guy in Walmart I would tell him to go away until he saw me in Target. I mean who wants to have to tell that story for years to come? "Our eyes met over the silk flowers, store brand tampons and hefty bags?" No thanks.

I thought that would be enough, as if my darting eyes in all their evil would say what I tried not to which was "BACK THE FUCK UP OFF ME!"
"You're not just saying that to get me to go away, are you?"
"No I'm not but I'd still like you to go away."

That did it.

This is me today, happily married to a human.

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