Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I Just Watched a Baby Being Born!!!

Holy shit!

My friend Michelle has been pregnant for what seems like an eternity. Truthfully she went one day past her due date so it really wasn't but it sure felt that way. I'm not even sure why because she was all baby. Even in the photos I took right after she delivered, she looks totally normal. She never looked pregnant to me when I couldn't see her belly. Her face didn't seem fat and neither did her ass. I'm sure my ass was the size of China but since I couldn't see it, I didn't worry about it. That wasn't my problem as far as I was concerned. Even if she never showed it, she was past miserable and had been trying to talk anyone who would listen into inducing her early because her lot in life is that she has BIG ASS BABIES!

This is her third (and last) child and each one has progressively gotten bigger. I don't know what her son weighed but her daughter weighed 9.5 pounds. They seemed to know all along that this one was going to be even bigger but the baby was doing well so no one would induce her. She married Stretch Armstrong so I can't even imagine getting a tiny kid out of that. Her fear was that the baby would keep getting bigger and then in the end she wouldn't be able to push it out and she'd send up with a c-section. I had two c-sections and I know they can be kinda daunting if you've never had one or if you've had one that went not so great. Mine were OK. I mean I threw up, A LOT either during or after both but Excedrin Migraine makes me throw up so I'm not so sure it's like that for everyone, but I've heard horror stories, who hasn't? She's a nurse so I'm sure her stories are worse.

Anyhoo, Michelle had asked if I'd like to take some photos for her and of course I said yes! Who wouldn't jump at the chance to witness something so beautiful? I like this baby already because I said to Michelle when I heard her induction started at 6 AM, "Please tell that baby not to come til after 6 PM so my husband can be home with the kids." Don't you know I got there at like 6:39 and she started pushing just after 7? I love a punctual baby! I know adults who can't get their shit together that well so I'm really impressed with it in a soon to be newborn!

When I got to the hospital (the same place I delivered both my children) I was concerned I'd have trouble navigating my way around with all the changes they'd made to the place since then but I figured it out pretty quickly and once I saw this I knew I was in the right place:

A nurse allergic to latex. That's gotta suck.

I keep calling the baby "it" or "the baby" and that's because they didn't find out what it was until it was born. Well, until he was born. It was pretty awesome to find out that way, but I know I would never be able to do that. It's like sitting in front of a wrapped gift for 10 months, something I am totally incapable of. But, on came the contractions.

It was nice to see the look on a father's face when he sees the nuts and bolts on his son for the first time. Endearing really. I couldn't help but cry. I mean birth is a beautiful thing, I know, I've done it twice. Three times if you count my own birth but this was different. This is kinda the way it was intended. While I'm totally at peace with the way my children were born because of the issues I had, there is a part of me that stood there watching my friend give birth and both longed to do it again and mourned because I knew I couldn't. Even if I wanted to try, for the safety of myself and a child I might try to have, it isn't going to happen for me. I have two perfect living children that are more important than any third child I may or may not have, but if it were possible, seeing that baby being born would have pushed me over the edge into the "we're going again" category and I didn't expect that when I rushed the the hospital with my camera over my shoulder.

Another thing I didn't expect was how easy my friend made it look. She's a tough cookie but I thought giving birth breaks everyone. Clearly she was not just uncomfortable, she was in pain but that baby was HUGE and she popped him out and was on the phone texting within 30 minutes! Besides my own photos, she had photos of little screaming Nathan on Facebook within 30 minutes or so. I guess I'm just shocked by this because after I gave birth to either of my children I couldn't even sit up for hours. I threw up for a full 48 hours after I delivered my daughter so to see someone raise the back of their birthing bed and start texting was not what I expected.

I was kind of the 3rd wheel in the room. Obviously her husband was there and her mom as well so I stayed glued to the wall. I wanted to be as much out of the way as I could be. I'd planned to try to take a few photos of her as she was giving birth but her mother told me she didn't want that so I refrained. I kinda wish I had. I would think a mom would want to see the babies head cresting, but I didn't want to be intrusive.

I once heard someone say in a movie to a bride that "you don't change a Vera Wang wedding gown to fit you, you change your body to fit Vera Wang" and that's kinda how birth is. I always wondered how you get a big honkin' baby out of that little space and now I know. I didn't find it gruesome at all and I made a point to not look where I didn't need to but it was truly an amazing experience. I'm hoping another friend gets knocked up soon so I can do it again! Karen, I'm looking at you!

I always wonder about other mothers though. I told my husband before we even got to the hospital to have my son, before I knew I was having a c-section, I told him this, "I love you but please understand, I will be in pain, annoyed, hot and possibly sweating. Please don't touch me or speak or I will lose my shit." I tried to be as quiet as possible because of that memory but it seemed like there was a lot of talking in her hospital room. I kept wondering if it bothered her but it didn't seem to. Between the talk of sodas, cameras and the jokes her husband was cracking, my favorite being "Every body's ready. We're just waiting on you!" I thought she would be annoyed, but she seemed OK. Her husband is much funnier than I had realized so maybe that helps. Good humor always does me good. I remember when I was sitting in the Infant CPR class with my husband when I was pregnant with my son and the lady asked the room, "Where would you find an AED (defibrillator)? My husband leaned over to me and said (in what I'm sure he thought was a whisper, "Old Country Buffet?" It was something so stupid but I laughed so hard that the lady asked me why I was laughing. I answered the best way I could, "Because my husband is an idiot." It's that kinda humor that always helps. That's kinda what Brian was doing. I think it was as much for himself as it was for everyone else. Waiting for a big baby to come is stressful and when you hear them say, "Call NICU", that makes it even worse, even if it is precautionary.

Once Nathan was born, weighing 10 pounds 4.7 ounces, I did what anyone would do, I took over 200 photos! I know it's said that all babies are beautiful but just between you and me, that's bullshit. Total misconception! All babies are defenseless and sweet, but they're not all cute. Nathan is cute with a big ole' round noggin' and he screams like a banshee! My favorite photos are of his mouth open in a wide, loud scream! It's OK to say that because he won't be keeping me up at night.
Look how big he is......

I find it hysterical that they crammed him into a newborn diaper because that's all they had in the room. He must have one hell of a weggie!

Seriously, does this chick look like she just past a watermelon through her love shack? She looks like a total rockstar!

This is me with Nathan:

Look at that face. How can you not love him?

Total angel! Funny how I feel like the lucky one.


  1. Oh, he's a cutie!
    I can't believe how big he is!

  2. Wow!! What an experience. And what a huge baby!! He's gorgeous.

  3. What a great story! And he's adorable.

  4. I was in the room when a friend of mine had her baby. I was all "I'll stay up here, take care of you and not look" but when that baby's head crested, mother nature took over and it was amazing. It's not gross or weird or anything else; it's just natural. I was so awe struck by the thought that just a moment ago that little, kicking, breathing person was just a concept. I cried like a baby and my friend thought I was nuts. Since then, I've had my own and it's a different ball game altogether when you are the one in pain! That said, I have never felt better in my entire life than I did about an hour after birth - felt like I could run a friggin marathon (trust me, that would not be pretty)!

  5. Hi, I am visiting from the Wobble Over Wednesday bloghop and I am following you.I would love for you to check out my blog.

  6. Blog hopping today and am your newest follower. I hope that one of my blogs interests you too.

    I also do a weekend blog hop, you can link up your blog, twitter, FB, blog frog community etc every Friday-Sunday! blog hop here!


  7. They are so cute at that age and then it goes so fast! Enjoy. Stopped by from the blog hop and now following thru GFC and Networked Blogs. I know you are busy so just when you get a chance stop by and follow back and say hello! Have a great weekend!


  8. Some really sweet pics. What a great friend you are. Oh, delivering children is such an adventure..not matter ..what.

    Great post!

  9. Beautiful baby!

    I just found your blog through the Swingin by Sunday blog hop! Can't wait to read more. Have a great week.

    Amanda @

  10. Adorable photos and congrats to your friend! Following you from the make new friends blog hop, look forward to your future posts!


    You now have a new follower, Can you please Follow back?

    Tweet with me on Twitter to.!/CHRISTY1986P

    Become a fan on my Christina's voice Fan page.!/pages/Christinas-Voice/133218916750446

    Thanks have a great day!

  12. This one made me cry... my new nephew was born on Saturday May 21st. My brother and his girlfriend live in Maui. I live in the Midwest (i.e. NO WHERE near Maui) but got to be in Maui for his birthday! I arrived on Tuesday (due date) and was leaving Saturday night. Sweet little nephew (that I adore) arrived Saturday afternoon... just in time for his favorite Aunt to love all over him and catch a plane. It was so fantastic to be on the other side of waiting for baby, having had 5 of my own over the last 10 years. I love the new babies... and now I love them even more when they aren't mine ;)