I love milestones. Well, I usually love milestones. I love them while dreading them while feeling sad about them if that makes any sense. Everyone wants their kids to crawl and walk and talk and speak and sing and learn to do things on their own. You take those things for granted until your kid is either behind in reaching those milestones or just never gets there.
I know what it feels like to wait for a milestone that feels like it will never come. I also know what it feels like to wait for my son to reach a milestone while he sits in a classroom with other children that aren't as lucky as he is so today when I took apart the beautiful Munire crib that held both of my babies as they slept through most of their first two years, I was gleeful, in a bittersweet kinda way.
I am clearly blessed with two babies that are healthy, happy and so much fun, but I already long for the babies that disappeared to make way for stomping feet, luscious hair and begging voices. I miss the 3 AM feedings when I rocked my son to sleep in his room while falling asleep myself in a rocking chair that I've already seen my husband eyeing to be Craiglisted, which is no where near happening.
We've had this big girl bed that we bought from our friend Alexa for a while now. She outgrew it and her mom already got her a big girl bed. I was completely against toddler beds when I had a 45 pound 2 year old because that would have been crazy but now that I have a remotely normal sized child, it just made sense. She could be in that thing for a year or more before we have to buy her a bed which will almost certainly be a trundle. No need to buy a HUGE bed for that little room until we have to, but it is a moving experience to take apart a crib you spent months shopping for and worrying about to make sure you got the safest one available. I never questioned if my babies were safe when I left them in this crib (until they threw themselves out)and no price tag was too high for that piece of mind.
Somehow when I wasn't looking, this:
Turned into this:
Owen's transition was a three week nightmare of catching him hanging from the side of his dresser or ripping down his curtains. I once went into his room and caught him pulling a Tarzan on the roman shade so when I put River down, walked out of her room (video camera in hand and DSLR around my neck) I had little hope of a smooth night. However, as always, my kid shocked me. She turned over, sung a few songs (Beatles and Bruno Mars ~ YAY!) and went to sleep! She didn't even move from under the covers! I gave her some bunk beds tonight for her dolls and we put them in bed, laid her down and Owen and I walked out of the room...and that was it.
What a lucky mother I am to have such kick ass kids!
May have turned into this:
..and while my "babies" may be gone, I got the best thing I could have ever hoped for. I get two kids who while they argue about everything that isn't bolted down, they are best friends. Owen may always need to have his cheese stick first, but he makes sure his sister gets one too.
In the end, I miss the crib that was so good to us and I'm sad as I see it in pieces in my hallway:
Because I remember it when it did this:
My husband should be happy to look at that rocking chair in our daughter's room and also kissing the sky that I'm not 10 years younger, because if I was, I'd be asking for another baby, not just holding onto sweet memories in a gingham blue rocking chair.
In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.
I just don't want to miss anything.