Friday, February 18, 2011

Fawk You Friday


I don't have time every week to bitch about all the things that happen to us during our travels so I haven't done Fawk You Friday in a while. The kids and I have been hitting it hard! We've been to the park, the train museum, shopping for Birthday party items and just basically getting shit done.

I thought today was a good day to rejoin Fawk You Friday so that I could make myself feel better about not slapping a bitch at Michael's. I only have one Fawk You but it was a practice in self control.

I loaded the kids up much earlier than usual. I wanted to be able to work on Birthday things today so I needed to get the supplies before I put Owen on the school bus so that I could work on them while River naps. We're standing in Michael's (minding our own business as one should) when an older lady says to me, "You have such beautiful girls!" I almost NEVER correct someone when they say that. All I really hear is how beautiful my kids are. I don't really give two shits that some people are incapable of seeing anything but my son's hair when saying these things. I find it's easier to just let it go.


So, I did just that. I smiled, thanked her and turned away, but we were both in the paper isle and she kept talking to the kids. At some point she did what I was hoping she wouldn't. She asked their names. I wasn't against telling her that Owen is a boy who has never had a haircut, I'm just not the type to talk to strangers. I'm not afraid, as much as not interested. I like to keep to myself. I certainly don't want an in depth conversation about how long a boys hair should be. Old people slay me with their nosiness.


However I took a deep sigh and introduced him while Owen yelled, That's River! She's my sister!" The obligatory questions followed. "Oh, he's a boy? I had no idea! Such long hair! I've never seen such long hair on a boy!" Oh God, here it comes...."Are you going to get him a haircut?" Ugggghhh, "At some point, I'm sure I will."


"I've never seen a boy with so much hair before." Yeah, you already said that.


"I would get him a haircut. Kids can be so mean." Mean, like nosey bitches at Michael's? Kids are assholes cause they have assholes like you raising them.


"Well, I'm his mother and I'll make that decision." What I wanted to say had my angels had their earmuffs on is "Can you mind your own fucking business and crawl back into your mothball of a house and let me do my own shit?" This is why people annoy me. Am I supposed to A/ care what she thinks or B/ Act like I care what she thinks?




Thankfully I had my paper counted out and instead of rolling it up into a tight tube and shoving it up her ass, we paid and left. I took the kids to Starbucks to wash my hostility down with a chai tea frap and then we went home to catch Owen's school bus where I'm pretty sure he's yet to be made fun of.


A side question to other parents, do crazy old women hang out at all Target, Michael's, Chick Fil As? Cause I feel like those bitches take root in those places. Also, why am I supposed to be tolerant of an old asshole? A bitch is a bitch at any age. Would it be OK if I asked her why her hair is blue and why it's OK to let her tits hang around her knees? Is that socially acceptable? If Dolly can keep those bitches up, so can you!

Probably the most annoying thing about today is that when my husband first walks in the door after work, he'll stand over me and look down while lightly rubbing my back and say, "Honey, I think it's time to get his hair cut." Uuugggghhhhh, I should have just fucking hit her.


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6 comments:

  1. I miss these when you don't do them! I also hate nosy people. Thanks for making me smile!

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  2. Noooo!(with pleading voice, not yelling)!! Totally none of my business (kind of what you blogged about) but I so love his hair. I commented just last week about how much I love his hair. My boys have had haircuts in the past but both (ages 6 and 7) have longer hair now. They love it. I love it. Stupid people ALWAYS comment on it. I tell them... girls with short hair aren't boys because their hair is short. Boys with long hair aren't girls because their hair is long. The younger one likes his sides pulled back now... just some Star Wars character. That REALLY gets comments. He has taken to telling them it is his cool hair.

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  3. LMAOOO...okay, it's totally not funny-but no one can recount a good fawk you like you!!!

    I so relate. I recently got my 4 year old son's hair cut...okay, not cut majorly..but enough to appease everyone who kept saying he looked girly. Fawkers!

    I think boys with long hair rock! ;)

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  4. People are so stupid sometimes!!! Love the title for this post, very appropriate!

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  5. LOL love this post! Newly following from Tara's weekend blog hop.

    Leetah East
    afkdinner.blogspot.com

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  6. These bitches hang out at Michael's, Chik Fil A, etc. b/c they have too much time on their hands and nothing better to do! I can't help but think about the time I was at our local Chik Fil A in the TODDLER play section. This woman waltzs in with her 7-ish yo kid and proceeds to get pissed when my 1 1/2 year old won't stop climbing UP the slide. Okay, I was making the effort to keep him out of the damn thing and trying to explain DOWN to him but he wasn't getting it! So she sighs loudly, looks at me and says, "How OLD is he?" in a tone that clearly meant "why is your kid so stupid that he can't figure out down." Because my gigantic kid who looks 3 is actually only 1 and because this is the F-ing TODDLER play section. Take your kid to the other play section if you want all the kids to know what DOWN is! I just told her he was 1 and she pinched her lips up and said, "Oh." At least I got the satisfaction of shutting her up. And for the record, I did get my kid and leave so as not to be slide hogging assholes!

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