Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Hate People

My children both have Birthdays over the next two months. River will be two in just two weeks!

In keeping with this celebration that I plan to both oversee and partake in, I have been looking around town for specific things that I plan to have at the party. One of them is kind of pricey so I am shopping around because that's what I do.

After dropping Owen off at school today River and I went to Kohl's to do just that. Because she's got the issue with her femur, I let her do a lot of walking. I can't remember the last time I used the stroller. I always hold her hand because she's a runner and today was no different. I take her from her car seat, put her on her feet and while holding her hand, we walk across the parking lot and into Kohl's. We got in the store just fine. They didn't have what I was looking for so we strolled around the store for a bit looking at nothing and then made our way back to the parking lot.

Before we entered the parking lot I looked both ways. Looking where you're going is something you learn before you're 3 so walking while looking and telling River at the same time to look both ways while walking into a parking lot (even though pedestrians have the right of way) is just robotic. I would think everyone does that with their kids.

It's mid morning and kids are in school so the place is pretty barren. No cars are passing so we walk across the lot towards our car. A blond chick hurriedly walked past us but I paid her no mind. She jumped in her SUV quickly after passing us, started her SUV and then backed up. The only problem? We're standing behind her SUV when she did it so she bumped me. She probably wouldn't even had stopped had I not put my keys up and smacked them against her window.

Now I'm not a rocket scientist but looking behind you is backing up 101. Am I right? I don't want any special treatment but not hitting me with your SUV because you've got some place to be that is more important than me and my not even two year old daughter is something I insist upon.

As if the story couldn't get any better, the woman then stopped her SUV, got out and said to me, "Did you just hit my car?" WTF? Now I'm not going to tell you everything I said in that moment because typing the word FUCK over and over again is monotonous but I will tell you this, I almost shit myself when she asked me that.
I asked a question as to avoid just screaming like a crazy person even though I knew that is where it was headed. I decided to raise my voice so she's know that blaming her shitty driving on me was completely out of the question. I thought it was a fair question. The question, "Are you fucking crazy?"

Now as soon as the question spewed from my lips I could tell that I was so angry that I was unstoppable. Thank God my husband wasn't there! I get so annoyed when he tries to contain me. She looked at me with a mixture of fear and terrified guilt as she noticed the small blond cherub walking next to me. I know she felt like a HUGE ass and I was on my way to making it much worse.

"I didn't hit your car! You backed into me you fucking moron! Consider yourself lucky that my daughter was walking on the other side of me because your bumper would have hit her fucking head! Had you hit my daughter, we'd be having this conversation with me sitting on top of you with my hands wrapped around your fucking throat!"

I think I blacked out at that point because that's all I remember. I'm almost certain that she didn't say another word but it was clear that I wasn't open to it. How dare you blame me when you hit me with your car! I'd like to find this bitch and hit her in the face with a shovel.

Morons, as far as the eye can see.


  1. Wow, I would have killed her. Good for you for freaking out on her and putting her in her place. What an idiot.

    I hate people, too.

    PS - Glad you weren't hurt!

  2. Dude! That is just Messed up! I applaud you for making the situation clearer to her. just. messed. up.

  3. Holly shit Michelle that is just scarry. I think I would have flipped out. I am glad both of you are just fine.

  4. You rock. I need to be more like you and let the f-word fly when there are situations like this. Not that I'm all meek and mild, but I tend to be the peacemaker type and sometimes, I don't really want to be. Anyhow... I'm glad you're okay.