Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A Shit Nugget ~ Revisited

Yeah, that's what you think it is.

This morning started much like any other. I woke to a quiet house all but my husband walking out the door on his way to work. I didn't think my babies were awake yet although it's hard to tell with Owen. He wasn't making any noise yet and I couldn't see him on the video screen. With one click of the monitor, I could see that River was still sleeping so I laid in bed a little longer. It must have been 7:30 and that's a little early for them anyway.

About 20 minutes pass and I start to hear the tale tale signs that Owen is up for the day. "Rail raider!" and "Thomas is a very busy engine!" are quotes from Thomas the Tank Engine and I hear them trumpeted from behind the secured six paneled white door. I decide it's time to get up and start their breakfast while I power up my window to the outside world, right here on the kitchen table. It's in front of an actual window, but you know what I'm saying.

Once the English muffins are toasted, crisp green grapes are divied up and the ice cold whole milk has been poured, I brush my own teeth and hands and turn the knob on my son's door until I hear that little click that makes Owen look up at me and say, "Momma, did you poop?" He says this every morning because for a while it was the first question I asked him in the morning. He likes to bust that question out at the worst times, like when we're in line at the market. Nice.

When I opened the door, I didn't see Owen, I saw a wooden train track that I'd searched the county to collect and light coloured Berber carpet covered in ground in shit! He couldn't just let it slip out of his Pull up because that would have been too simple. He felt the need to run through it and dig it in. The train track can be cleaned but the carpet will never be the same.

Don't even get me started on what shit covered little fingers do to white walls, train tables, dressers and beds! She sheets were unscathed but he felt the need to drag his hand along the exposed white box spring. The only part of the expensive set we got him that is not protected! I know cleaning this up is my job as a mother and I did it but I don't remember this chapter in Motherhood for Dummies. Nobody mentions this shit! Best part is when I dropped a pile of paper towels covered in shit on the bathroom floor and when I went to stand, I ripped my arm on a tiny nail that was sticking from the wall. I thought I was going to break something!

So, a few hours, a spray bath, busting out the Bissel Jr. and a trip to the market for better cleaner later, it looks and smells better. I had to air out his room from the smell of his own crap and the fumes from this cleaner. It's always bothered me. I surely don't want my kid sleeping in it. I had to hand wash the train track but we needed a new sponge anyway.

As if that wasn't enough, River did the same thing! I walked into her room after her brother's spray bath and almost cried. How much shit can one family be full of, I mean really?!

Don't answer that.


  1. OMG you poor thing, sounds like you need a Mommy Time out!!! god my kids have never done that before, my son has shit on the floor during potty training hell but never played in it@! I hope your day gets a little better, and just think bedtime will be here soon(i know not soon enough)

  2. I love that you thought to take pictures.

  3. I know but I I should have taken a phot of his shit handprint on the wall.

  4. You are a freaking saint! I don't know how I would have kept my cool. It's too bad no one was there and could take the children away for a little while. I am NOT looking forward to potty training.

  5. LMAO let me just say that I was wondering the same thing the other day. The terrible two ( my twins Gabe and Mattie) BOTH had flu bug or something but they were leaking out the sides of their pull ups. I gagged EVERY TIME I changed them. My husband thought this was great...jerk lmao