Monday, September 6, 2010

Jeans, A Study In My Ass

Let me start by saying that I know how ironic it is that I am about to say something nice about JC Penney, but keep in mind that this has NOTHING to do with their portrait studio.

I went out early this morning to find a new pair of jeans. Jean shopping is about as degrading as bathing suit shopping so I don't do it very often but occasionally is must be done. Every pair of jeans I own is boot cut, which I like but I bought some new boots this week that will require me to wear my jeans inside so boot cut is out. I've also lost of few pounds so I'm tired of holding my jeans up with a belt.

Now I did what most chunky girls do first, I went to Lane Bryant. I like their clothes and they're for bigger hineys so I started there. Here's the problem with Lane Bryant, if you have thinner legs and hips than say a water buffalo, you can't buy pants there unless you plan to pack meat on your thighs. I look like the ring leader in the circus in all their pants! I have no idea why they make such extra room on the hips! I can tell when I see a woman in Lane Bryant pants because there is an extra section of material on her hips. It's the weirdest thing! Not to mention that their jeans are priced from $49-$89. I don't want to recreate the wheel. I want a fucking pair of jeans! Why do they cost so much? It was ridiculous and after trying on 6 pairs, I headed to Penneys where I'd passed some sales on the way in. I'd purposely skipped them because of my recent issues with Penneys but I understand the separation between Penneys and Penneys Portrait Studio. Well, I'm trying to anyway.

I found a brand of jeans called Ana. I'd never heard of them before but they fit perfectly without room for saddlebags on my hips and the pant leg stopped where my leg did. That never happens! Not to mention they were on sale for $21.99! I bought three pairs of jeans and unlike what Chris told me, I found black ones. I love black jeans! Technically these are "skinny jeans," which I just find laughable. They really aren't skinny and are more of a straight leg so I still reserve the right to make fun of people who wear skinny jeans. I'm just glad I can tuck them into my new boots!

So, as it turns out, my ass really isn't that big! But riddle me this, why do people who make clothes for fat people just assume that we all want everything made out of stretchy material? I don't consider it a selling point that my jeans might stretch. I mean if you're too big to fit in your jeans, shouldn't you just buy a bigger size?


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  2. Thank you so much for joining us on the Tuesday Train. Have a great week!

  3. I think that it is a big difference in the type and style of jeans, is what makes your butt look good!

  4. LMAO Shut up about LB lmao I thought I was the only one who noticed that! I have the hardest time shopping for jeans because Ive gotta funky build. All the jeans are too long! I love LOVE Ana. Their shirts kick butt too!!