Monday, August 16, 2010

What Do You Do When Your Kid is Too Sweet?

I have a problem that I haven't heard from other parents. My almost 3 1/2 year old son is too sweet. He's gentle and kind and says "Please, Thank You, Bless You, Excuse me, You're Welcome and I'm Sorry" more often than he should. He's so kind that occasionally when he argues with a friend over a toy or yells at someone for pushing, I quietly cheer. Truthfully he's a heavy, thick kid and could probably easily take any of his friends and while clearly I'm glad he doesn't think that way, I'd like him to know that he has the power to stop an argument by using his words and walking away while saying "NO!"

Now I can see how parents with kids who wouldn't even think to say those things, wouldn't think this was a problem but it is. I worry for my son and would like him to be a little tougher. He shouldn't say, "Oh, I'm sorry" over and over when he wets his pants like he's in trouble. We don't get mad and he isn't in trouble when he does it so I don't get why he seems to be so upset about it. He shouldn't yell out, "I'm sorry" when someone else drops something and he shouldn't say "Excuse Me" when someone else sneezes. It's almost like he's taking everyone else's burden and I don't like it.
I know where he gets it and it ain't from me. It comes from a good place but sometimes "nice" is just a four letter word and I want Owen to understand when apologizing is necessary and when it isn't. I don't want someone bumping into him and him being the one who apologises while the other person just walks away. I HATE THAT!
So I love my baby and think he's super sweet, he just needs to understand that not everything is his fault and sometimes other people need to apologize. I'm just not sure how to make that happen. How do you teach a kid to say "Bless You and Thanks Mom" while making them understand that you don't yell "Oh, I'm sorry" when someone else shuts a door too hard?

For some reason I still can't get her button to work, but this is her blog:

Tuesday Tag-Along

To-the-TOP Tuesday


  1. I have a son that when he was younger would put himself in "time out" and we would not even know he did anything wrong.

  2. Give him time. My son was the same way, please and thank you, never need a time out,always said sorry when it wasn't his fault, was never mean to his sister and not that I wanted him to become super tough, just get a little edge. Well, he went to pre-k and was around boys that had bigger brothers and learned how to be rowdy, and tough and can hold his own, but still very sweet, and he doesn't feel that need to be so sensitive and apologizing for things he didn't do. I think it's just the age, and with age they learn, they learn that everything isn't their fault and it comes with age and experiences with other kids.

  3. Stopping by to follow you from the Tuesday Train!

    Love that your little boy is so sweet and kind! He'll toughen up as he gets older! I'd give anything to have my 3yr old be super sweet instead of smart and sassy.. lol

  4. Hi! I am hopping over to follow you from the Tuesday Train. Happy Tuesday! (c:

  5. I need your email address but I'll work on getting it to you. I'm not sure why it isn't working right now. I'm just glad you're here.

  6. my kids were always called "too sweet" but that slowly wore off once they began school. They are still sweet but now have a bit of sas to them. Happy Tuesday, I'm a new follower.

  7. Hello! I am now following you from the Tuesday blog hops! If you haven't already I hope you will stop by and follow me too! Check out all the giveaways while you are there! Have a great week!

  8. I'm a new follower from Tuesday Tag-Along.
    I hope you'll come check me out at PS Mom Reviews and follow me too!
    I have fun giveaways going on now too!

  9. Following you through TTT; pls follow me back at LindaLovesBlog.