Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop ~ An Open Letter to Momma

This week's assignments for Mama Kat's Workshop are:

1.) Dear Mommy and/or Daddy...(write a letter to yourself from one of your children)

2.) This one time I was sleeping and...

3.) Things you oddly obsessed about as a child.

4.) Who needs a vacation when you can spend your summer doing this...

5.) What did you wish for most? Write about a time when it was just too hot.


Dear Momma,

I’d like to start this letter out by saying that I love you. I know I do things that make no sense to you sometimes but I am 3 and River isn’t even 2 yet, so cut us some slack. I know some great things about myself that I've learned over my long three years and I'd like to share them with you. Lets start with how much the chicks dig me. When I was walking with my friend Sydney, she just reached over and grabbed my hand! She can't get enough of me. She's a little demanding but I like a chick that knows what she wants. None of that wishy washy crap for me.

I’m entering a new phase in my life. I know I’ve always been the gentle giant and the one who has never hit, bitten, kicked or pushed anyone else. I’d done with that. Today when I punched my friend Ayden right in the eye and left a red mark, it was just the beginning. He didn’t do anything to deserve it other than possibly crowding my space but there’s a new sheriff in town and this sheriff says “BACK OFF!” I don’t even want to get into the “No photos” phase which I am also entering. How many photos of my hand and the back of my head to you need?

I know I’m a 50 pound 3 year old but that doesn’t mean I will eat anything you give me. Who likes grilled chicken? It isn’t even cut up in dinosaur shapes like Perdue does! Even McDonald’s puts a yummy hard crust on the outside! Why can’t you do that? Also, don’t even think about coming at me with broccoli. It’s just gross. I’m not interested. I would much rather be checking on my train table or eating an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers. I can’t help it Momma, that’s just how I roll. I can promise I'll eat all the cake you give me. Does that help?

Did I mention that I love my train table and all the Thomas Trains you got me? I know Daddy said no more Thomas but I think that was a suggestion more than rule. Sometimes I find myself yelling out “Thomas, Thomas” in the middle of the night. You think I’m crazy but that’s just how I express my love for the big blue train! Even as I write this, we’re sitting in the basement as a family watching Thomas and Friends so you totally facilitate this obsession. Kinda your fault.

I like the music we listen to. You were right, the Eclipse soundtrack rocks and I love singing along to The Bravery with you. You let me listen to Old McDonald Had a Farm as well as Vampire Weekend and I love the eclectic feel of the van when we’re rockin out! I like being the only kid at the kiddie pool singing Kings of Leon! I’m so progressive! Joan Jett sounds like she’s screaming but the rest of it, I totally love!

As far as potty training goes, I’m doing my best. When you walk in my room and I point out a poop nugget on the carpet, I’m trying to help. It’s not like I’m bragging about it! It could be much, much worse. I could just let you step in it and have it go squish between your toes or I could use it as a pen on my bright white canvas of a wall. Some kids do that you know? You really don’t have it so bad. Does it help any that I totally rock my Thomas big boy pants?

I try to get to the potty and pee in it. Why would I not? I get two cookies for peeing and three cookies if I poop, which I’ve yet to do. You know I'm all about the cookies. I’m not sure why I’m content to poop in my Thomas big boy pants but I am. I appreciate when I come to you and say “I need help” and then turn around so you can see the big nugget protruding from my underpants that you don’t get mad or yell at me. I think it’s gross too and I’m sure some day I will not do that but I’m just not there yet. Also, while we’re talking about things that are usually unmentionables, it’s my penis and if I want to touch it, I will, so back off!

There is one thing I’d like to touch on that may be sensitive to you. This has been bothering me since River has been getting around more. I love my sister and I think I like having her around but can you keep her away from my stuff? She’s getting girl germs all over everything and I don’t like it one bit! She walks though my train towns like she’s Godzilla and breathes all over my Little Tykes kitchen. Also, that plastic shopping cart is mine so stop saying I have to share it with River! It was here before she was so it’s mine, mine, mine! I do the important stuff like share my food with her! Isn't that enough? Sometimes I even feed her so you won't notice the food we're sharing is hers. I’m training her to call you “honey” so take that! Yeah, I know I have a flare for the dramatics. Laugh it up! I get that from you!

In closing, why does everyone say how beautiful River’s hair is? It’s nice (I guess) but have they seen the do I’m sportin? I look like a friggen Adonis with my beautiful blond locks and I get nothing but breeze! It’s because she’s a girl, isn’t it? I don’t get it. Whatever. Don't let anybody make you cut my hair. I am totally rockin' this look!


P.S. River wanted me to ask you to lay off the pink. Enough already. She also said that yes, there is a limit to how many hair bows an 18 month old can have and you passed that limit over a year ago. Put down the credit card and step away from the hair clips. Her words, not mine.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. This letter was just so cute and really informative. I learned a lot things that I think I can apply to my kids. :)

    Over from Mama Kat's

  2. Great blog! Just wanted to let you know that I’m giving you an award, since you’re pretty awesome! Swing by my blog to pick it up.
    All the best,

  3. I am your newest follower!
    I hope you will come by and enter some giveaways and follow back!

    Mommy Minded

  4. Following via Thursday blog hopping
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  5. So cute! And I love how you did that with your pictures!!

  6. Hi! I am a new follower from Talkative Thursday. Drop by sometime!

    Saved By Love Creations

  7. Hehe that was cute.

    I am your newest follower from Surfin' Saturdays.

  8. Hello. I am a new follower. I hope you will come follow me too.

  9. Hi, this is Heather stopping by from the Surfin Saturday Blog Hop!

    Nice blog! Just swinging by real quick, but don't worry, I'll be back soon! :-) Feel free to stop by my blog, I have a giveaway going on this weekend!