Friday, August 6, 2010

3 Haircuts in 24 Hours is Just Wrong

If you don't like the use of the word fuck, look away now. This might not be the place for you in general but not today for sure.

So, as I mentioned before, I got my hair cut off yesterday. Maybe a good 6-8 inches. I knew what I wanted when I went in and I even had pictures that a hairdresser friend of mine in Nashville found for me when I explained via Facebook what I wanted. But when I left yesterday I knew it wasn't right. I came home and tried to get use to it but it was my 40th Birthday haircut and for once in my life I wanted a haircut that matched my balls out personality. I didn't get it.

I called her and asked to come back in and when she called, I rushed there and explained it all over again. I held my very long bangs in my hand and said, "DO NOT TOUCH THESE!" I was very clear about it. She cut my hair and tilted my hair down so I couldn't see what she was doing. It was at this point that she CUT MY FUCKING BANGS! I have no idea what was going through her mind and I'll be honest, I don't give two shits but I just wanted to fucking run. My hair was still wet when I left so I didn't get the full brunt of it until I got home and dried it, then I was furious. I wanted to beat a fucking kitten, I was so mad! Luckily my shedding dog was in the basement with my son, out of reach of my foot.

Instead of calling her back and having her ruin my fucking hair a third time, which she offered, I called my friend Karen and bitched like a sailor on shore leave and then went to Hair Cuttery. Seriously, I was so desperate that I went to Hair Cuttery. I was unsure when I walked in because it's the fucking Hair Cuttery and there was a guy yelling when I stepped inside. I thought to myself, "Ok, self, let this jackass blow and try to stay out of it." I don't do this well.

I sat down in my chair and pulled out my pictures. It was very important that she heard every word I was saying because she wasn't getting anywhere near my hair until we had a clear understanding and she could explain it to me. I made sure she understood that this was my third haircut and that I was a little shell shocked so she tried to listen, but she couldn't hear me over the moron yelling behind me so I asked her to wait for him to finish and I turned to look at him until he was done. We clearly couldn't get anywhere until he was done. He was a manager at the UPS store next door and he was bitching about the Hair Cuttery employees parking in front of his store. I parked front and center so I don't know what the hell he was talking about. When he started to quiet down a bit, I turned back to Elma, the chick that was cutting my hair and continued explaining what I wanted her to do.

He started yelling again and I was shocked that no one was saying anything. He clearly didn't understand that I was a woman with a bad haircut which put me on the fucking edge and I was trying my best not to punch him in his cockeyed face. If I heard one more word about his fucking customers I was going to lose it. That of course, didn't take long.

I whipped my chair around and ended the bitching and yelling like this, and tell me if this is rude, "Could you put a fucking period on it? I don't give a rats ass where your customers park! It's a fucking strip mall! They can walk a bit or keep their asses at home! Now can you go do some work so I can get my hair cut?" I didn't hear one more word out of his ass as he slunk out the back door. I already contacted UPS customer service to let them know that while I may not have handled it in the most mature way, I have that right because I'm not employed by UPS or The Hair Cuttery, I'm a paying fucking customer and don't appreciate their store manager thinking that yelling to or in front of customers like that was acceptable. Also, I'll drive farther to not use that UPS store again because clearly it's managed by an asshole. Luckily it's next to the Safeway that I also hate so it's east to stay away.

Anyhoo, back to my hair. Once Captain Complainer was gone and the other hairdressers stopped patting me on the back, I continued my explanations and watched her like she was holding my child in her arms. I think I spooked her a bit but I didn't care. She did a great job and gave me the best haircut I've ever had! This haircut is almost exactly what I wanted. I say "almost" because the first chick cut my bangs too short so it will have to grow out but I love it! This haircut makes me want to run naked through the streets, wear leather pants and learn to play guitar! That's an incredible compliment from me!
So, this is what I learned today, more expensive hair salons aren't always better than The Hair Cuttery. Hair Cuttery only takes once to do what someone else couldn't do in two tries. I obviously need to stop badmouthing The Hair Cuttery because I bent over and took in it the ass from a "real" salon yesterday when I could have paid $20 for this haircut not $20+$33. Also, if someone fucks up your hair once, don't give them a second chance to do it again.
Best haircut I've ever had! I look like a fucking rockstar or at least like I'm with the band!
The end.


  1. Thanks for joining Surfin' Saturdays! I already follow you via GFC! :)

    And Then There Were 4...

  2. I'm following you from Surfin Saturday! Sorry you had a bad hair cut experience!