Friday, July 23, 2010

Things I Say Way Too Much!

I am gleefully a SAHM so except when my son is in school, I am with them 24/7/365. I'm not complaining, I love it and am so happy that we're able to do it. I mean I can't remember the last time I bought a new pair of shoes (except for the rainboots I bought for the Portland/Forks trip) because I don't need them and can live without having 50 pairs of black shoes.

I knew some day I'd turn into my mother and I'm fine with that. I think of her anytime I walk down the cereal isle and look at the price of a box of cereal. How one woman raises three kids with shitty child support is beyond me. But I do find myself wondering if my mother had to repeat herself as much as I do. I'm sure I was a complete joy to raise (sarcasm) and was never any trouble (again, sarcasm) but she must have had to tell me something often before it sank in. Sometimes I think that's all I do, harp on the same damn issues aver and over and over again.

We're just getting to the point where I can ask Owen things like, "Can you please put your plate in the sink?" He does stuff like that with little or no grief. That kind of stuff isn't what's driving me insane. It's the things I feel like I'm begging Owen AND River to either do or stop doing.

These are my personal favorites:

1. Please drink your milk!

2. River, stop throwing your food!

3. No Owen, you can't have chocolate milk!

4. Owen, get your hand out of your butt!

5. River, get out of the dog's water bowl!

6. Owen, do you need to go potty?

7. Don't push your sister! I don't care what she touches!

8. Owen, stop eating your sister's Goldfish!

9. Owen, stop saying Vagina!

10. Owen, get your hands off of your penis!

The last one I must say 50 times a day. Having his hands on his junk must be some kind of involuntary reflex because I truly think he's incapable of not juggling the boys all damn day long! I'm a chick so I just don't get it.

Please, someone tell me that your kids make you do this too. I mean I want my kids to know the proper names for their body parts and I want Owen to understand that River doesn't have a penis but good God, how do I stop him from running down the isles of the market screaming, "River's vagina, River's vagina, River's vagina?!

Thank God I have a sense of humor because I see how this could turn you bat shit crazy if you weren't paying attention.


  1. I think kids can turn you batshit crazy even when you're paying attention and are completely aware it's happening!

    My second daughter walked up to complete strangers in a restaurant one night and said, "Guess what? I saw hair on my daddy's bottom."

  2. Oh my how I love this post! I am the mother of a 2 year old, so I say many of the same things day in and day out. My favorite of late is, "You need to stop screaming and use your words". I must say that 30 times a day.

    I'm visiting from the Tea Party :-)

  3. I waited so long to use the real words that my daughter finds the proper terminology embarrassing. We'll have to touch base in 20 years and see which child has higher therapy bills.

    I have to repeat myself nine million times about picking scabs and chewing on her own hair. It's always something.

  4. Stopping by from Lady Blogger Tea Party! Soooo true! Love the get your hand off you penis comment. I say that to my son all the time! lol!
    I'm your newest followe! Hope you'll stop by and visit!

  5. I have no kids, but my mother does and she still repeats herself all the time and we're all like "chill, mom, we all stopped listening twenty years ago..."

    Stopping by from LBS!

  6. Oh, so funny! With kids, it is essential to have a sense of humor! It's either laugh or cry, right?? Little boys absolutely do LOVE to have their hands down their pants! And my 5 year old daughter has a love affair going on with her privates right now, too.

  7. very funny! Following from Surfin Saturday! Have a great weekend!

  8. blog surin'. Your newest follower.