Friday, July 2, 2010

One is Blue/One is Pink

My sister has four children. Her first baby, Tabitha was a girl and then she followed that up with three boys. Tabitha was the last girl in our side of the family so I'd always knew that I wanted one. My brother doesn't have kids yet and Tabitha must be 28 or so now. She has two kids of her own but they're both boys.

The point I'm making is that I really wanted a girl and not just for my little family. I felt like I was trying to bring balance back to the whole clan. I never even questioned that I was having a girl. I was certain of it. I couldn't imagine it any other way, until the ultrasound when I find out she was a he. I wasn't disappointed but I was surprised. Obviously I wouldn't trade Owen for anything but I really thought he was a girl until that point. Owen was and still is such a joy that I couldn't imagine him any other way. I never looked back and wished I'd had a girl. I got the hair anyway.

When I became pregnant again I was certain I was going to have another boy. There was no reason for this but I just couldn't imagine having a girl at that point. I couldn't imagine a baby that didn't grunt when he was hungry or pee in my face when I changed his diaper. I was so set on the second baby being a boy that when they told me that he was a she, I threw my hands to my face and immediately cried. I had so made myself believe that River was a boy that it was a shock to my system and I still went weeks saying to myself, "They could still be wrong. It's easy to mess this up."

I got a boy and a girl and feel blessed to have them. I would have gleefully been the mother of boys and expected that to be the case but I was lucky enough to have one of each, bookends if you will. Perfect little blond bookends. This is a good thing because with the pregnancies I had and my age, number two was the last one. I'm glad we didn't have to have the conversation about do we really want to try for a girl or think about adopting. My guess is that in the end we would have done neither and been thankful for what we had but I would have always wondered. I think that's probably normal.
So in the end I got baseball gloves and pink tutus. I got Cars bicycles and blond dolls , I got beautiful brown eyes as well as beautiful blue ones, but I also got two sweet spirits and two little people who will add to their world and not take away from it. I got two people who take the world as they see it and try to make it their own. Neither are typical of their sex in that my son is gentle, and sweet and says "Please" and "Thank you." He generally shares his toys, never hits or bites or kicks. His mantra seems to be, "Can't we all just get along?" He is a very big and strong kid but has never really used that unless there is Birthday cake involved. He's my gentle giant.
River is completely different. She's hit her brother more times than I care to count and her favorite way to get my attention is to scream, and she doesn't care if we are in a library or a train station. She bolts through life with reckless abandon and doesn't concern herself with much more than making sure no one is in her way. This should be a joy when she's 14.
So, one is blue and one is pink, but they both look good in black! I'm a lucky Momma!

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