Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays ~ Life Without Cupcakes

My family and I drove to Virginia to go to a mall that's supposed to be the shit. I, personally didn't get it but there were some nice stores once you got through the shit storm that was the parking lot. Tyson's Corner was not for me but I guess I can see why people like it. Some stores are nice but it isn't the kind of place you run in to return something. It's the kind of place where you'd make sure to pack extra diapers and milk for the kids if you planned a trip. It's an all day affair and from what I witnessed within the first ten minutes we were there, it's a place where people go to be seen. Can you say faux-hawk? Hello?

Anyhoo, one thing I thought was great about the mall were some of the places to eat. There was a lot to choose from and because we had the kids we kept it simple but walking through that mall brought me front and center with all that I am missing. Diabetes just plain sucks. There is no way to sugar coat it because even that would probably kill me. See? I can still joke about it. That's something, right?

The things I can't eat these days far outweigh what I can eat and I am coming to terms with that. The pastries alone that we passed were enough to stop me in my tracks. There is a store there called Cake Love. I'd never heard of it but apparently it's a chain. They had a window full of the best looking cupcakes I've ever seen! I can't even tell you how much I wanted to dive through that window, unhinge my jaw and eat the whole case! Just eyeballing those bad boys made me crave a gallon of milk, which in the end just made me sad. I mean things like cupcakes at a party or the cupcake tower I plan to make for my daughter's second Birthday are the little fun things in life. I think that's the "smelling the roses" kinda stuff that I'll miss out on. I know it's just food but planning around things that will send you to an early grave is no fun.

Seeing those yummy cupcakes in the window got me thinking of some of the things I already miss so I thought I'd make a short list and purge a bit, if you will.

1. Starbucks Chai Tea Frappachino w/ cinnamon

2. Karen's macaroni and cheese

3. Chinese food

4. All the milk I want

5. Indian food

6. Normal bread

7. Italian food

8. Blueberry turnovers

9. Mexican food

10. Real peanut butter

11. White chocolate

12. Pina Coladas

13. Fruit

14. Smores

15. Ginger Ale

The list could go on and on but this is my top fifteen. I'd planned to only make a list of ten but my love of white chocolate and memories of the pina coladas my friends made the other night overtook me. Don't even get me started on the smores fixins in my pantry!

Watching my kids play and laugh together makes it a lot easier. I'd like to be here to see them graduate from high school and if I don't continue making this drastic change, that might not happen. But still, I'm human. I just want a fucking cupcake.


  1. And I wish you could have that cupcake!!

    That's awesome that you are willing to make these changes for your kids.

    Thanks for linking up.

  2. Awww, I'm sorry you're missing out on so many things you love. But, at least you're smart enough to make the change for the love of your children.
    I appreciate this post. I am very overweight, terrified of being diagnosed with diabetes, and am a struggling yo-yo dieter. Whenever I want to give it up, I'm going to remember your list because a lot of those things are my favorites, too.

  3. I can mildly relate to the feeling. While my stirct diet was really sucked because I travel malls all over my state for my job and the foods (none of which I could have) were killer, at times! Best of luck to you with tha fight against diabetes.

  4. Those cupcakes look deadly for sure. Or not real. :)

    I gave you a blog award!! Come on by to see.

  5. I love you! Have I said that before? Well, I do. I'm sorry you can't have a fucken cupcake 'cause they are good. But I don't have diabetes, and I don't eat alot of those things on your list because...well, because they'll kill you even if you aren't diabetic, it'll just take longer. So I know it's not much of a consolation, but know you are not alone in your need for healthy eating. I'll be thinking of you next time I'm scarfing down a fucken cupcake.

  6. I'm sorry you have to miss out on the cupcakes :( But, I think it's amazing what you are willing to do for your children! visiting from Shell!