Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Should Have Been a Lesbian

Today I went with the fam to the mall to get out a little bit. We stayed out of the rain yesterday and didn't leave the house. River has been sick so we didn't want to do anything that was too much but we were going crazy in the house. We all needed a break from being inside.

When we first got to the mall we did what we always do and snuck by The Disney Store before Owen realized we weren't going in. We've been through more than one full blown shit fit for passing up the Lightening McQueen section and neither of us were in the mood. It worked with a little redirection. I skipped Gap Kids because that is my favorite store for River and she needs NOTHING so I decided not to even chance it because all their stuff looks great on her.

I did step into The Gap because I saw some cute scarves from the window and I've been hunting a couple of cheap scarves and hadn't found any. I didn't fall in love with anything and we turned to leave. My husband and I looked up at the same time to see Owen standing in front of a naked dummy, beating it. We were both confused at why our 3 year old would be pummeling a defenseless dummy when my husband remembered a trip to Dick's (don't Google that) that we took a couple of weeks ago where they had one of those dummies that you punch and we played with it a bit. Chris was showing me how to throw a punch and we all took a shot or two. Looking back now, not so smart but who knew? So we had to laugh because it was funny as shit! I mean we're only human, right? Probably the funniest part was as he's walking away he looks back and points up and says, "Boobies!" At least he's observant.
I went into my favorite store in the mall, Layla Rowe. They sell jewelry, purses, shoes, hats and scarves! Their scarves were on sale so I knew I was leaving with something. They have like 100 scarves so I knew it would take me some time and Owen is always a nightmare in this store for some reason. Chris stands next to me waiting for me to find something and I'm asking him what he thinks of each scarf I choose. Don't you know he stands next to me like his ass is on fire. He can't wait to get out of that store so I move as fast as I can. They were having a 2 for sale so I needed to pick out two scarves or it would have been a waste.
We do some other things in the mall like Border's and lunch before we head home. They just opened up a new Sakura Sushi place and it was surprisingly good. I've never had mall sushi but I loved what I had. They made it in front of me and everything. Very fresh!
Anyhoo, we ate lunch and went home because River turned pissy and needed her nap. I tried to show my husband the scarves I got and he didn't even look. I said, "You're aren't even looking!" He replied, "Yeah, it's because I don't care! That's what girlfriends are for!"
Is it so hard to look at two scarves, really? Would it kill you to say, "Yeah, those are nice." and then think whatever you want to yourself? I should have been a lesbian. Women appreciate scarves. I shouldn't even tell you that on the way to the mall he told me that I had, and I quote, "A billygoat hair on my chin!" Seriously, WTF? I mean I DID have a billygoat "like" hair on my chin but that is so not the point!!!!!
Man of my dreams, man of my dreams.....


  1. thanks for stopping by my blog and following, i'm following back =)

  2. I love you! I'll be your lesbian lover AND I will oooh and aaaah appreciatively at your scarves!

  3. Too funny. Men - you can't live with 'em, can't live without em. Stopping by from blog flow and following.

  4. I fake interest when my husband is talking sports, I expect him to do the same about my shopping trips. This post title made me laugh, because I'm always saying this to my husband because then I could watch all the girly shows and movies with someone who enjoys them and doesn't roll their eyes, my house would be cleaner because men are so messy, plus then I'd have someone to help me cook and clean up from dinner. I don't steryotype at all do I?

    Following from blog flow.