Monday, June 21, 2010

I'm Not Picky


I hate weeding. I mean I really hate it. I think the basis of it is that I don't like to be dirty, or hot, or sweaty. Also, last year while weeding I got bitten by something that seemed to take up residence on my calf and left a really nasty bump there for like a month. It was vile. I like having a garden and I like be able to go into the back yard for herbs and tomatoes and such but if I could hire a garden boy, I totally would. Do they even have such a thing? I could pay him with tomatoes and eyebrow waxing.
Yesterday while I was filling the kiddie pool I did some weeding in the garden and I was amazed at how many weeds there were. I'd just done it last week so these weeds are crazy growers because they were already taller than the corn. Maybe if I could find a pair of gloves that were worth a damn it wouldn't be such a pain in the ass. I don't care how many times I wash them, there is always dirt inside that gets under my finger nails. When I was planting this year's garden a hole developed right at the tip of my index finger so every time I touched the dirt it all went straight under my nail. Just a pet peeve of mine.
What would be nicer than sitting on the deck watching a hot guy pick my tomatoes? I could make some of that chai tea that I love and I'd buy one of those big straw hats with a black scarf tied around it that fell down my back. I'm sure some of my girls would join me. A hot British guy would be nice but I'm not picky, I'd take an Australian. If he's feeling frisky he could clean my toilets as well. I would pay him extra if his teeth were even remotely straight. I'd also like it if he could call me ma'am and occasionally brush his hair out of his face with his forearm. He also needs to bring his own gloves. Not that I've thought about it much.
There's no reason for this to bother Chris because we have other chairs. He could watch too. There's more than enough tea to go around.

1 comment:

  1. Try putting on some latex gloves first then the garden gloves. I know it's a pain and hot but worth it not to have your hands a freaking mess that for some inexplicable reason, won't wash off for 2 days!

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