Sunday, May 30, 2010

Columbia, Uggghhh...


Sometimes on Sundays when we're bored but want to get out without a lot of drama, we will load the kids into the van and go to the Annapolis Mall. It really is a nice mall even though there are some things I could do without. They tend to price things a little higher, because they can. Some people feel better about themselves when they pay more. I don't suffer from that affliction so I never got it. There is also one part of the mall, right outside of A&F that smells like a boat load of cheap women washed ashore. I don't know why they pump so much perfume into that place but on more than one occasion it's given me a stomach ache. Towards the end of my pregnancy with River, I skipped the mall just because of this. I also think their food court blows. For such a nice mall, it feels more like the food court in the Laurel Mall (arm pit of all malls) than it should.


Today my husband wanted to drive to the Columbia Mall. I was there for probably 3 seconds before I remembered why I moved away. Sears is a trash heap, the play area is a giganto infestation of drooling and typhoid, there is no elevator out in the mall, except by L&T so I have to go into a store to go up, not very convenient for strollers, and the mall doesn't open until noon! How lazy is it to wait until 12 to open the damn mall? We got there just before 11 AM, because that's what time real malls open. There were tons of people walking around the mall. You'd never know it wasn't open except hundreds of people were walking around with no place to go because all the gates were down. McDonald's was open, but so what? There was a store with a sign on the door that said, "We open the same time as the rest of the mall, 12:00." What asshole put that sign up? Offend people before they even get into your store. That sounds like a plan. It took everything I had to stop myself from sticking a note facing into the store that said, "At 12:00, will you still be an ass?" My husband was there so I let it go. He should consider it a gift because my reaction had he not been there would probably have been different.


All over Columbia I see the green "Choose civility" bumper stickers and even as I sit here now, I laugh out loud. Howard County chooses civility? Seriously? As soon as I cross into Howard County, people drive closer, walk closer and just seem to be all up into my shit, almost like they're entitled to know what I'm doing. I have friends who live in that area and none of them are like that, as I wasn't but whenever I go back, I always wonder what they see in the area. I mean it's green and has nice parks but you can get that anywhere. They also have a lot of bike trails or as I call them, "rape trails" because people are always getting attacked on those things. You couldn't have paid me to use one of those things when I lived there. And as far as it being diversified, I guess that's true but nobody seems happy about it. Everywhere around the mall seems like a big ole melting pot of misery that I like to call Newark.
I know the idea when Columbia was founded, the plan called for a series of village centers, around which life would revolve. The centerpiece of Columbia would be the Mall and a lake nearby. I don't think the lake part panned out as Clyde's isn't really the focal point of anything. Oh well, I guess every city has it's issues. Columbia just seems to like to hide it more.

No comments:

Post a Comment