Saturday, April 24, 2010

TwiCon


Holy shit, I’m not alone. Now when I say that I’m not alone, I mean that I’m not the only person who loves Twilight enough to go to a Twilight convention, but keep in mind, I knew this was some crazy shit, even before I got here. I jumped into this with open eyes and an open mind, but still, damn!

I left at 10 AM after my son got on the bus and I kissed my angel in the driveway. I can’t remember the last time I left the house for the night alone. I think it was a Duran Duran concert in Philly, before I had kids, so a good three+ years ago. How liberating this is. I’m sitting in the Internet bar in the Sheraton in Arlington and I’m feeling good. The drive down was easy and I headed my husband’s warning to be careful. Once I got onto New York Avenue, it was easy. The HUGE 18 wheeler I was behind for an eternity had the company logo emblazoned on the back. I got to read these words for a good 5 miles, in traffic, “Batesville Casket Company, Please Drive Safely!” Yeah, no shit.

I only missed one exit and it was the one by The Pentagon but I corrected quickly as not to end up in Delaware. Trust me, I could totally make that happen. When I got to the hotel, I was immediately annoyed that I had to pay $14 for parking, a day. WTF? This is another thing I hate about Virginia and there are many. Making me pay for parking at your hotel, just assures that I won’t stay there again. As if that weren’t bad enough, you ask me to pay $11.95 for WiFi? Seriously? I’ll just blog tonight, save it and then post it when I get home. FU Sheraton! Too much happened tonight to blog it all anyway so it will be a two-parter, at least.

On the first day of Twi-Con, I learned a few things. First of all, red pants should stop at a certain size. I’m all for having a good time but if your ass looks like a bleeding STOP sign that is begging to be put out of its misery, just buy a pair of jeans for God’s sake. It will be easier on all of us. I’m not a tiny girl but I know what I’m capable of. Learn your limits and stick with them. Second, I learned that Peter Facinelli has green eyes. My zoom kicked ass and I was all up in his nostrils, and I’m not complaining because he’s way hotter than I thought. I couldn’t help but notice when I was all up on him that he smelled like a cross between cedar and drift wood. I wasn’t sure what to make of that but I filed it away under WTF? He didn’t smell bad, he just smelled like he’d been outside. I know, random, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I heard he likes to camp a lot with his family so maybe he does that on purpose. He also didn’t seem like an ass, which was nice. I’ve met lots of famous people in my travels and the rule clearly states that most of them are assholes. I had a picture taken with him and he signed my Twilight book. I had him sign the book because I have two children under 3½ so the idea that I’d do anything with his photo is laughable. All of my wall space is spoken for. Also, I know I’ll always have this book because I really love it and now that he signed it, I won’t even lend it out. I just need to keep the grubby hands of my children at bay. I think I can do it. Third, I learned that some people take this shit way too seriously. I obviously love the movie and all things Twilight but like most things, I do it with a bit of humor. Some people just aren’t capable of that. There is a group of fat chicks walking around in black Facinelli shirts that they obviously had made and they talk really loud about the other Twilight conventions they’ve been to. I can’t really even convey how annoying they are and they seem kinda mean. Not sure why but I think they want everyone to know that they know everything about him, which I find terribly sad. They’re all at least 35 and were talking about how they made a Birthday cake on his actual Birthday. Now I did that shit too, but I DID IT WHEN I WAS 12! I did it with my friends on Simon LeBon’s Birthday, but again, I WAS 12!
Another thing I learned, the people that work for TMZ are crazy. I had no idea how close they got with their cameras but they get inches from your face and stumble over each other and whatever is in their way to get a shitty picture of someone walking to their car. You don’t realize that from your couch in Idaho, but my eyes have been opened. I know everyone has a job to do, but they’re snakes. Watching them in action is surreal.
There was a Q&A with Peter before he signed our stuff and a Twilight Lexicon panel which I found more interesting than I thought I would. After all of these things and some things from the Hillywood Show cast, it was time for the Karaoke concert. Now I DO NOT do karaoke but I went because Michael Welch and Peter Fachinelli were hosting and I’m glad I did because it was fun to watch. I am always amazed how I can go somewhere alone and have a great time. I am totally my best friend.

It was probably well after 11 PM when I realized I hadn't eaten since the bagel I shared with my son at 9 AM. I started to get the shakes but everything was closed. I had to eat kettle corn and almonds for dinner since it was all I had. Luckily I'd taken some of those Jack Daniels drinks I love so I could drown out the hunger. I felt like Axl Rose. I have no idea how a fat chick forgets to eat as much as I do. It's just odd.

Just when I thought the weekend couldn’t get any more interesting, the Nation is Islam showed up. I’m going to do something I don’t usually do and get a good night sleep before I address Louis Farrakhan. I guess we’ll see in the morning if it helped. I’m going to make a bold prediction and say , “NO!”

I blogged in the bar for a while after that and then went up to my room, dropped the temperature to 65 and got into the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in. Now I’m going to bed and tomorrow I’ll see what wicked this way comes.

Night.

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