Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Nation of Islam

If I see one more fucking bow tie, I think I might lose my shit. Militant bastards early on a Saturday morning is more than I can stomach. I mean I get that your “leader” is here but does that mean you need to position yourself around the lobby, in every corner and hang over the Mezzanine? One guy was blocking the stairs to the mezzanine and I had to ask him to move. I’ve got a militant face too. I’m not scared of you. Now move your ass before I clock you in the side of the head with my zoom lens! When I finally get upstairs to do something I almost never do, get money from an ATM, they’re swarming up there. There is one bow tie in every corner and one was all up on me while I tried to get money out. I had to turn to him, in my agitated state and ask him to back the fuck up. There’s no sense in mincing words. I think they hate women or at least think we have a place and I’m not the bitch you want to be talking to if that is your mindset. What I really wanted to do was rip off his clip on bow tie and shove it up his ass. As soon as the words came from my mouth, 5 or so bow ties let go of the walls they were holding up in the name of Mohammad and started walking towards us. That's when I got loud. Don't try to intimidate me. I'm not your bitch. Get off my ass and let me get money out of this machine before I break off a piece of the Koran and beat you with it. I would have been nicer if I thought he’d earned it but when I say he was all up on me at the ATM, I mean his jacket touched my person and that’s a personal space issue so me saying “Could you back the fuck up?” was really pretty nice. You don’t do that to a woman period. It skeeved me so much that I complained to the front desk. I’m sure they won’t do anything about it because they’re pansies, but at least I shared. I found myself walking around all weekend quoting Forrest Gump to myself, "I didn't mean to get in the middle of your black panther party." Oh, don't get offended. It's just a movie!

Besides standing in the middle of the lobby, guarding their king, I don’t know what they’re doing here. Twilight fans and the Nation of Islam just don’t mix. Who took that reservation? I have never understood groups of men who get together and dress alike. It’s just creepy. The Boy Scouts is one and don’t even get me started on them. I know they do good things for kids but I’m not a fan. I hope there never comes a day when my son asks me if he can be a Boy Scout because we’d have to have a serious conversation about what we tolerate from other people who don’t except us, unless we’re just like them. It’s technically the same speech I have saved if he talks about voting Republican, so I’m ready.

I just can’t understand a group of men who get together to follow one person who by all accounts is a complete pig. They wear bow ties for no other real reason then because he does but they don’t really do anything. I mean I’d love to ask the idiot standing in the middle of the lobby guarding the stairs, “What the fuck are you doing? Why can’t you form an original thought? Bowtie? You’re wearing a fucking bow tie with polka dots on it and a Bernie Mack hat. What gives?” I’ll have to do some real research to see if they actually do anything besides sitting around looking militant and calling each other brother while giving the two cheek kiss, which is so tired. Such a cliché. It’s been done people! They just look like a bunch of Shriner’s to me. All I see is a bunch of sheep. Followers.

Luis Farakhan is a racist, homophobe and an anti semite. He once called Jewdism a "gutter religion." The only difference between this guy an a September 11th hijacker is that he doesn't have a bomb strapped to his chest. Also, he clearly has minions to do his deeds. Last year he said that the H1N1 vaccine was made to depopulate the earth. Some believe he had a hand in the death of Malcolm X, just to get him out of the way. Do with that what you will.

I’m typing away on my lap top in the little WiFi area of the bar in the lobby of this hotel and my screen is angled down because Brother Whatever his name is, is sitting next to me and I swear he keeps looking at my screen. I’m sure he thinks he’s entitled to know what I’m doing since I’m beneath him. Hell, he’d probably slit my throat if he read this. Truthfully, I’m just pissed that they bogarted my TwiCon coverage, but I’ll get back to it.

Oh shit, a guy just walked in wearing a teal suit and a yellow bowtie. My head is exploding. Clearly getting a good night sleep did nothing for my disposition or acceptance of misogynist bullshit.

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