Tuesday, March 16, 2010

We Don't Change Who We Are Because Someone Doesn't Like Us


Today my son came home from school and he seemed a little different. He was a bit quiet even through my barrage of daily questions. Did you have fun at school today? What did you do? Did you have fun? He always answers me, even if I don’t understand most of what he’s saying. Today he ate all of his lunch without saying much of anything and without playing with his toys, which is very unlike Owen. He seemed to want to stay close to me, even rubbing his face across my arm. I tried asking him if he was Ok, but he didn’t answer, as I don’t think he’s really capable of answering a question like that right now. As he was standing very close to me, he leaned in and said, “haircut.”

Now if Owen had said, “I want a haircut,” he’d be scheduled for one already. As beautiful as my son’s hair is, I’ve always said that if he comes home and says he wants it cut, it’s a done deal. He is welcome to whatever haircut he likes. The thought of my baby with a wiffle is heartbreaking, but if that’s what he wants, that’s what he gets. However, that isn’t what happened. What happened was that he whispered “haircut” under his breath like it was a bad word.

My concern is this, either a kid is making fun of him or a teacher is telling him that he needs a haircut. Either would push me well past the point of being pissed off. When I first took Owen in to meet his teacher before he started school, the speech pathologist was there as well. I remember her mentioning that Owen’s hair might confuse the other children and I said to her then, “I don’t see why it would confuse them anymore than a girl with short hair and if someone made fun of her, I would hope you’d address it and I expect the same for my son.” Now she said this at a point when I was getting it from all sides and was just starting to get annoyed by it. I don’t care if people say, “You have beautiful daughters,” cause that is innocent but if you say to me, “You really should get his haircut,” prepare for the wrath that is Michelle because I’m tired of everyone’s fucking opinion on my son’s hair. He’s my fucking kid! Don’t I get to make the decisions with my husband without your fucking thoughts? I’m trying to handle this through email but I have a feeling that this will end with a parent teacher conference.

I would like to think that if the teacher saw a kid making fun of Owen that she would address if immediately and call me to tell me about it. The thought that it could be one of his teachers making a comment to him because she doesn’t like his hair fills me with a rage I cannot convey. Is George Orwell teaching this fucking class?

“God grant me the serenity not to punch a bitch in the mouth.”

Anyhoo, I tried talking to Owen about it and I got nowhere so I told him this:

“You have absolutely beautiful hair and I wish I could have it too. If you want a haircut, just tell us and you can have whatever haircut you want, but we don’t change who we are because someone else doesn’t like something about us. We’re "insert last name here" and we don’t change for anybody!”

I hope I was able to get the point across. I just think that cutting his hair because someone made fun of him, adult OR child, is sending the wrong message. It isn’t the first time I’ve told him this so hopefully it will sink in along with “You can be anything you want to be,” and “Don’t eat the last bagel.” I guess time will tell.

What a giant leap of faith it is to send your baby, who hasn’t even been three for a month to school. I have never even put my dog in a kennel. To say that I trust no one doesn’t even cover it. I just don’t want them molding my sweet boy into what society says boys should be. You train an elephant by breaking his spirit and I don’t want that to happen to my son. In fact, I intend to rage against it for the entire school age years for both of my kids. I just didn’t think it would start so soon, but I’m ready. You think you’ve seen asshole? Think again. Fuck with my kids and you fuck with me and you don't want to fuck with me. School is a luxury at this point. He doesn't have to be there.

I mentioned this in an earlier post and how prolific it has turned out to be:

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain

Bunch of assholes!

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