Saturday, March 20, 2010

Meet Me At The Equinox

So I did what is to date, the lamest thing I have ever done and I've done some lame shit in my days. New Moon was finally released yesterday and while I already pre-ordered the special Fan Edition from Walmart, I decided to go to the release party at Boarder's anyway. Just for shits and giggles, I decided to see what a New Moon release part entailed.

About three things I was absolutely positive:

First, these people are crazy. You're 40 years old. Find a fucking shirt that fits for God's sake! A tip, GET OUT OF THE JUNIOR SECTION!
Second, there was a part of me and I didn't know how dominate that part might be, that wanted an explanation on why an adult would be in line at the "sparkle" table.
Third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably sure that I wanted to bitch slap some of these preteens.

Now I will be the first to admit that I absolutely love everything Twilight but there are some limitations that come with not being 12, like I'm not an idiot. If I were 12, I would have owned that fucking place but I'm not and the thought of "sparkling" just makes me itchy. They also had a tattoo table and I just wasn't into a fake tattoo that said "Forks." I'm not sure why anyone would want that but whatever.

There were a lot of preteens there and if I had one and she were into this, I totally would have taken her but it seemed like some people just dropped their kids off to a midnight release party? WTF? I don't think I'd leave my 12 year old at the mall at midnight, maybe it's just me.

I sat for a while and drank my hot chai tea that those people couldn't make correctly if the directions were tattooed across my chest and watched these people. I lasted about 15 minutes until I started to cringe out loud and then I knew that was my que. I grabbed the Joan Jett CD I picked up and hit the road.

I also thought it was funny that they thought to release New Moon on the equinox. Simple pleasures.

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