Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Fucking Christmas!



Chris and I were up half the night with River, who had a tamp of 101.7, watery eyes, runny nose and she seemed to be holding her ears. She was also crying like crazy! This is a kid who never cries. I was actually at a loss til I noticed she was holding her ears. My kids didn't stay up too often screaming their asses off so when it happens, I kinda feel like a new mom.

I was able to get the after hours service who suggested I take her in today. That was our plan. However, when I woke up this morning, I knew immediately I'd end up in the emergency room. I had the tale tale pain in my left side. I tried to ignore it and tell myself it was something else, like I did for the last two weeks when I got the pain in my side and the other 7 times I had this issue but I knew it wouldn't go away. I decided to get dressed and drive myself to the ER while I still could. I was able to get River a Drs. appointment for this morning so I knew I would be driving myself. Chris would take the kids to the doctor.



I have the same conversation with a triage nurse every time I go to the ER for this:

"What seems to be the problem today, Jackie?" Nothing unnerves me more than someone I don't know, giving me a nickname I didn't ask for. It's presumptuous and annoying so it always starts off bad.


"I have a kidney stone," I said.

"yes, but what are your symptoms?"

"I have the symptoms you have, when you have a kidney stone"

"and what are they?"

"I have left flank pain, my BP is up, I am sweating and it is hard to breathe or speak. How I got to the hospital I don't know. My left side is sore to the touch and I feel like I am going to throw up. I've had 7 stones so I know the pain"

"Sounds like you have a kidney stone, Jackie!"

"No shit, Jen!" I figure since we're making shit up, I can call her whatever I want.

"My name is Brianna"

"Yeah, well my name is Jacqueline"


After she got the point I was making and left, the doctor came in and sent me for a CT scan. I've had them so many times, I feel like we're old friends and it's so much easier than an MRI. For an MRI, they ask you if you're claustrophobic and then cram you into a tube. I just hate them! Turns out I have a kidney stone that is over 9 mm. That's huge! The smallest they try to let you pass on your own is 5 mm. I asked why I keep getting them and the Dr said if you get a kidney stone once, you're 80% likely to get another one. Yay, something to look forward to. I wonder if they have frequent flyer cards?

There was talk of admitting me but I was prepared to do whatever I had to do to make sure that didn't happen. I started to cry and make promises and they relented. I have some other kidney problems so when I have a stone, it really is worse than a normal person having a stone. I don't really have normal kidneys. Truth be told, they should have kept me and if it hadn't been Christmas Eve, I wouldn't have asked to go home so bad, I felt that shitty.

I go home with percocet and something else to take hoping the pain won't return until Monday when my Urologist's office opens after the holiday cause I never get this issue on a Tuesday, it's always at the end of the week, right before a major fucking holiday! I knew then that the chances of that happening were pretty slim but I went home with the hopes of being able to celebrate Christmas with my kids. It's River's first Christmas so I didn't want us to miss it. FAT CHANCE!

I wake up early on Christmas Day! Yay, full on pain in my side that the percocet couldn't even touch. I woke my husband up to share the good news and suggest that we get the kids up while I can still move to open some gifts and shoot fake footage of Momma smiling :) We did just that. I sat like in a coma while opening gifts that I asked for but haven't touched since. They're all great but the thought of bending over to pick them up now, is just too much to handle. It was nice to see the kids open their gifts and play with them a bit before we left for the hospital to miss all of Christmas. Go Momma! I damn near waited too long to go to the hospital. I almost couldn't get up to get to the car. My favorite part of the trip is having to stop and throw the door open so I could throw up the OJ and slice of cheese I had when I took my percocet in hopes it would help me to not get sick. Nothing like whistling beef on your neighbors lawn on Christmas morning!

So we go back to the hospital but this time I was prepared. I took the gift I opened on Christmas Eve, a box set of the hardback Twilight books (Thanks Chris!) and packed for a stay. I just knew they would admit me, which they ended up doing. The pain was much worse this time so I know something had to be done. I had hopes of them removing it then or even the next day but that was not to be. In my dilauded fog, I was able to ascertain that the on call Urologist was coming in to see me. Once he got there he said something about a stint and getting OR time. All I heard was, "We're putting you to sleep," which is just a nightmare for me and my first question, as always was "I will need a tete a tete with the anaesthesiologist, when can that happen?"

I explained to the anaesthesiologist the main two things I needed to explain and for once I didn't get an ass, I got someone who listened. He needed to know that I get sick when the wind blows so give me something for nausea as soon as they're finished butchering me and DO NOT put anything over my face (IE: oxygen) until I am asleep. I kicked someone in the face when I was 5 for doing that and I will do it to you too! I appreciated that he listened to what I told him. That way if I DID get sick, I didn't have to aim for his shoes like during my C-section. That bitch deserved it.
After I sat in recovery for a while, they released me so I was able to come home but the damage was done. My husband, who stayed with me all day, and I totally missed Christmas. We weren't even able to give Owen his big gifts because they're frozen in the shed and the house looks like a Fisher Price bomb hit it! I don't know how we'll ever recover.

Best part of the day was when Momma called during my dilauded haze and offered me her kidney. Unless I was dreaming......


I took all of 8 pictures on Christmas morning and they all look like they were taken by a 5th grader. Anyone who knows me knows that is unheard of. I'm known for throwing my kids in the backyard on any given Tuesday and taking 400 pictures for no reason so 8 pictures on Christmas morning is ridiculous for me. Luckily, my In laws were here to help so I know there are others. At least I got one picture of my poor sick daughter in her "Team Edward" t-shirt!













1 comment:

  1. Michele, I had no idea you were feeling so badly. I hope you are getting some rest and begin to feel better soon.
    You are an excellent writer BTW. I can't stop reading your blog:) Take care and try to relax some.

    ReplyDelete