Sunday, July 26, 2009

The grass is always greener on someone eles's ass.

I gave in this week and decided to go clothes shopping. I think I’ve purchased a few things since I was pregnant with Owen, but very little. My clothes just didn’t fit me and I needed some things to feel more comfortable. It still amazes me that I’ve lost the weight I gained with both pregnancies but my clothes don’t fit. My body is just totally different. WTF? How is that fair?

Anyhoo, I went to the outlet mall (or Stabbyville as I like to call it) and found a few things in one store, which is rare. Most of the things I bought are black, not all, but most. This isn’t because I think it makes me look thinner. I’m not sure why I do it. I just seem to gravitate towards black. I don’t really put that much thought into it. The only thing I know about wearing colours is that I look like a corpse in yellow and orange, so I steer clear. It may be because I refuse to wear a shoe that isn’t black, but in my defense, I wear a size 11. My feet look like barges in any other colour so why try?

It isn’t much fun to go clothes shopping. I think it’s because it is something I have to do. If I were buying something just for shits and giggles it would be different. Doing something when I don’t really have a choice feels like a punishment. That last sentence totally explains my son if you’ve never met him. Yay me!

I also learned that I can do whatever I want in the time it takes my son to finish his drink and/or snack and until he gets tired of looking at himself in the mirror. I really needed to look for a pair of jeans, but that’s like the worst thing ever next to buying a bathing suit. So degrading. I can’t do that in front of my kid. He’d be stunted for life. Isn’t it enough he has to go to the yuck doctor with me?

If I could find one pair of jeans in my lifetime that fit my ass, I’d buy stock in them. Why is every pair of jeans made with that stupid stretchy material? It doesn’t help any. Do you think the fact that the material stretches, confuses me and I don't realize what I've got back there? Oh, I know, trust me. I just want a pair to fit. I don’t want it to fit when I take it out of the dryer and then be hanging down my crack a few hours later. Uugggghhhh…


  1. LLBean has great jeans, I love mine and I really do miss wearing them (can't wait to get out of maternity clothes!). JJill also has good jeans. I need a pair of jeans to fit my butt. Both stores have what I need:-).

  2. AMEN!
    I've got two pair of stretchie pants that I loathe. The other pairs I nearly have to lie down to get into. I've gained nearly 30 pounds in 6 months and I'm bigger than I was when I gave birth to either kid. I find stretch pants comfortable until I am walking ANYWHERE and have to spend 40% of the time pulling them back up. You'd think as big as my butt has gotten it could hold them up on it's own!