Friday, July 31, 2009

Reason 4,334 why I'll never live in Texas

If I had to pick the last state I would ever live in, Texas would be it. Just the idea of it gives me the shudders. Was this treatment really necessary? Is this really OK? Is this the intended use of a taser by police officers?

I'm not saying she didn't mouth off, but that isn't illegal. If being an asshole were illegal, I'd be serving a life sentence, but you don't taser someone because they don't do what you say when you're being an ass. She's 72 fucking years old! He could have killed her. I totally think this cop should be fired. It will never happen in Texas where gun ownership is like a cub scout badge, but still, he should be. If this happened to my mother, I'd have this guys ass.

If this isn't painful to watch, I don't want to know you.

Time Wasted...revised.

President Obama had a “backyard summit” yesterday with the black Harvard professor and the white cop who arrested him in his home after someone reported that she saw two men breaking into the home they were entering. It was the professor’s home and I guess he was having trouble getting in and used his knee. The woman who called in said she didn’t know if it was a break in, just that it looked odd. The cop gets there and enters the home and I guess the professor didn’t like being questioned in his own home and over reacted a bit. The cop arrests him. Both are probably good men who went a little overboard. I get the whole story right up until the “backyard summit.” WTF? Aren’t there more pressing things on his plate? Did this really need to happen?

Look, I voted for the guy, but I have some suggestions. How about fixing this crappy economy you were left with? How about doing what you said you’d do and make it so highly educated linguists who speak Arabic aren’t kicked out of the military because they’re gay? What say you just get rid of ‘don’t ask don’t tell all together?” If you really feel like you have a lot of time on your hands, how about you send me the welcome letter for my daughter I requested 6 months ago? I only asked three times!
Stop wasting your time on meaningless drivel. This doesn’t “advance race relations” This doesn’t advance our country any. Do something that is actually going to help us. Having a beer with Joe Biden, a Harvard professor and a cop, does nothing for us. It just sounds like the beginning of a joke.

*EDIT* I stand corrected. I didn't realize the Professor was arrested after they proved he was in his own home and for disorderly conduct. That's ridiculous. I'm sure he was pissed to be questioned in his own home when he was doing nothing wrong and he has a right to be. I'm sure he was over the top furious as I know I would have been. Once you realize I live there and no crime was committed, get the fuck out of my house! Also, why did Obama even comment on it? He should have said nothing as it just wasn't his place. I think he was on the right side, but it still wasn't his business to address it.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Enough already.

Kanyne West says he’s the new King of Pop! I had to laugh out loud when my husband told me this because A, I hate Kanye West and B/ It didn’t work out so well for the last guy.

Michael Jackson was born a sweet, talented black kid who went out like a cartoon character. He died a scary old white woman after years of bleaching his skin. He had a beautiful voice that I listened to in the early 80s, before he became so creepy. I can be honest, I was sad when he died, but that was more a mourning for the years that I listened to him and watched my nephew dance to his music and not for him as a person. Now I’m just sick of hearing about it. He’s in the ground and I still hear his name everyday. Lets face it, he was a big ole’ mess. That whole family is. I’d rather be poor than born into that train wreck of a family any day.

Michael Jackson fought his whole life to be seen as white, so why is he all of the sudden black in death? I don’t get it. Isn’t it offensive that he bleached his skin for over 25 years? He’s dead, we get it. He’s buried in a gold coffin, we get it. His mother who raised him while his father beat him is a saint, we get it. Enough already. He’s in the ground, now you can start releasing his songs and make money off his dead body for years. Just like they did for Tupac.

I like to post pictures of my children with each post, but I can’t even bring myself to do it for this one. Thankfully, they don’t even know who he is.

So, go-ahead Kanye, you’re the next King of Pop, go you! You’re ahead of the game. I already don’t like you.

Shut your mouth and provide the service I pay you for!

Our friend is in the middle of her 35th week of pregnancy. She’s having a boy, her third beautiful blue-eyed boy. Obviously I haven’t seen this kid yet but I’m just assuming he’ll have beautiful blue eyes just like her older two boys. His name will be Jayce and we’re all just waiting for him to come.

I talked to her today about some of the troubles she’s been having with her doctors. Her blood pressure has been up. Her Diastolic pressure has been above 100 for three days. And her systolic has been up to the 160s. She’s also getting the BP headaches at the base of her skull that I am all too familiar with. I have chronic hypertension so I know what it feels like when it’s high. I think these numbers are cause for alarm when you’re not 9 months pregnant. When you ARE 9 months pregnant, your doctors should be all over you. So, why aren’t her doctors all over her? Mine were. Not only are they not all over her, they’re rude to her for even questioning a medicine given to her when it says right there on the bottle “DO NOT TAKE IN LATER STAGES OF PREGNANCY.” Hello? Some people just pick the wrong profession.

As a pregnant woman, you should be able to trust that your doctors will take care of you, tell you what to do to keep yourself and the baby healthy and make sure that nothing comes up that can effect the health of either of you, but when it does, they spring in to action and do what ever it takes to not only make sure you’re OK, but to make you feel better about yourself and your unborn baby. Is that so much to ask for? You have the right to question any “care” that you’re given. Actually, that may be the problem right there. Given is the wrong word to use. I should have said, “You have the right to question any “care” that is provided by a doctor or nurse who are providing a service that YOU ARE PAYING FOR! Why do we allow doctors and nurses to treat us like they’re doing us a favour by seeing us? My husband and I pay a shit load of money every month to cover our whole family. It isn’t cheap and because of this, I don’t allow doctors to treat my family this way. If my child has a temp and a rash out of nowhere, I want a call back today. I don’t want to rush my kid to the ER because I can’t get his Paediatrician to return my phone calls. Luckily, my kids have a great Paediatrician and luckily I had great Ob's, but I was high risk and that may have made the difference. My doctors and nurses were all over me and I was never made to feel like I had fallen through the cracks. Everyone called me by name when I came in, granted, I was there 4 times a week so that made it easier but still. They didn’t have to do that. Every doctor and nurse at The Women’s Group of Saint Agnes in Columbia was wonderful. I can’t say enough wonderful things about them.

I just hope my friend can get her doctors to get off their asses and take her blood pressure seriously. They don’t call it the silent killer for nothing. The headaches are a HUGE red flag and it makes me want to go to her Doctor, shake him and scream “TAKE CARE OF MY FRIEND YOU FRIGGEN BUFFOON, AND GIVE YOUR NURSE A GOOD SMACK!”

Above is a picture of Dr. Leventhal who delivered River. She was an absolute dream!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Can I get a witness?

How big is too big for a play area at the mall? Now, I know I’ve got a big kid, but as much as I joke about it, he isn’t HUGE. He is just big for his age. Because he is a bit bigger than his peers, I watch him around anyone smaller than he is because a light pat can feel like a shove from Owen even if that wasn’t the intent. I don’t want a tiny two year old to get pummeled by my not so tiny two year old.

We’re at one of the local malls today and we’re wasting time before lunch. I let Owen play in the play area while I give River her sippy cup of formula. I notice what must be the largest kid I’ve ever seen at a play area. He wasn’t just older, he was huge so I couldn’t really pin point his age, but maybe 9 or so.

As I was taking off his shoes, I told Owen (like I always do) to watch out for the smaller kids and reminded him that there were some big kids too so be careful! This kid, who had absolutely no business being in this play area, was as sweet as he could be, but was a bit clumsy. This is not a good thing to be when you’re huge and playing with kids who are much less that half your age. Isn’t it just common sense and common courtesy to take him somewhere else to play? On more than one occasion, I watched him kick a small child as he was rolling, head first, down the slide. I’m not angry with the kid, but his parents need a good beating. The mother actually turned to me a giggled once as he came rolling down the slide. Hello…clueless much? Not to mention that he’s eating a cup of pretzel bites while running around, not cool. Do you think I want your kid’s greasy hands all over the slide my kid is playing on? That’s just gross. I’m getting more and more mad as I write this. People are just annoying. Talk about poor parental supervision, I saw her other kid using the hand sanitizer pump like it was a soda fountain. Of course Owen saw her and started doing it too. Like I want him drinking that shit or putting it all over his hands and licking it off. How is that OK? We had to leave cause the whole family was skeeving me. I feel like I need a bath.

Did that sound bitchy?

I took a few pictures of my son at the play area. Owen is a 46 pound 2 year old, just to give you some perspective. He's in the black shirt and khaki shorts with the Adonis like long blond hair.

River's 6 month pictures

Today we had River’s 6 months pictures taken. She is absolutely beautiful! She certainly got the best of both of us. I put her in a beautiful dress that I picked up at Gap Kids. I love it, which doesn’t happen often. It has brown in it and I usually run screaming from baby clothes that are brown as they’re usually hideous, but this dress is nice and people actually stop to tell us how much they love it.

I always take Owen along for River’s pictures and try to get just one good one of them together at the end. It is a bit of a nightmare as Owen refuses to sit still, but we usually can get it done. Today I took Owen’s favorite book with us and asked him to read it to River and he did. The same guy always takes our pictures and he did a great job today.

I have the kids pictures taken every three months until they’re two and then once a year or for special occasions. Chris always complains about the money I spend on pictures and how often I have them done when I take so many pictures already. I know it seems like a lot but I can’t imagine he’ll complain when River is 16 and trying to take her friend’s for a spin in his car or Owen is 17 and trying to give us the sassy smart mouth. We’ll love to relive the time when they were young and weren’t talking much yet or when they weren’t able to run away cause they didn’t want to hear what we had to say.

She was so beautiful today with her pink bow in her hair. Who wouldn’t want to remember that?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Counting Kisses by Karen Katz

My son will be 2 ½ in August and since we was old enough to army crawl away from us, he hasn’t allowed us to read him a book. I read him the short board books when he was very young and he seemed to really like the Thomas the Tank Engine ones, but since then, reading to him has been a constant battle.

I’ve always thought that reading to your children was very important. Owen has in excess of 100 books. He has his own Amazon wishlist filled with books that I think he’d love. He has also gotten lots of great books from my brother that he purchased on his travels. I read all these books but when I try to read them to Owen, he laughs and runs down the hall unleashing his freaky high-pitched squeal. It’s ear shattering actually. So, for a while, I gave up. I’d try a new book here and there, but I’d never get a good reaction.

We went to Georgia to visit my mother, and so the kids could spend some time with their grandparents and I packed a few books to bring along. I pulled them out the first night I put Owen to bed in the guest room and lay down with him. I was shocked that he actually not only sat still, but actually listened. He seemed interested in what I was telling him and the pictures that went along with the story. I was able to read him two books every night for a week! That’s more books that he’d heard in his whole life!

The books were The Bear Snores on by Karma Wilson and Counting Kisses by Karen Katz. I love everything Karen Katz does so we have a lot of her books. Owen seemed to take a special liking to Counting Kisses. When we got home from our trip, I brought those books and a few others and put them on a shelf in his room so he could see them. Every naptime and bedtime, he reached for Counting Kisses and demands that we read it to him. We read slowly and on every page, there is a baby who is getting kisses. Owen makes us hold the book close to his face and after we read each page, he leans close and kisses the baby. It’s really very sweet. He refuses to go to bed without that book. Luckily I have a board book version of It too so he won’t trash the nice one.

He s very into dolls right now and has a small collection. This started when River was born so I think she might have something to do with this. It’s nice to see that she’s had such a good effect on him.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The grass is always greener on someone eles's ass.

I gave in this week and decided to go clothes shopping. I think I’ve purchased a few things since I was pregnant with Owen, but very little. My clothes just didn’t fit me and I needed some things to feel more comfortable. It still amazes me that I’ve lost the weight I gained with both pregnancies but my clothes don’t fit. My body is just totally different. WTF? How is that fair?

Anyhoo, I went to the outlet mall (or Stabbyville as I like to call it) and found a few things in one store, which is rare. Most of the things I bought are black, not all, but most. This isn’t because I think it makes me look thinner. I’m not sure why I do it. I just seem to gravitate towards black. I don’t really put that much thought into it. The only thing I know about wearing colours is that I look like a corpse in yellow and orange, so I steer clear. It may be because I refuse to wear a shoe that isn’t black, but in my defense, I wear a size 11. My feet look like barges in any other colour so why try?

It isn’t much fun to go clothes shopping. I think it’s because it is something I have to do. If I were buying something just for shits and giggles it would be different. Doing something when I don’t really have a choice feels like a punishment. That last sentence totally explains my son if you’ve never met him. Yay me!

I also learned that I can do whatever I want in the time it takes my son to finish his drink and/or snack and until he gets tired of looking at himself in the mirror. I really needed to look for a pair of jeans, but that’s like the worst thing ever next to buying a bathing suit. So degrading. I can’t do that in front of my kid. He’d be stunted for life. Isn’t it enough he has to go to the yuck doctor with me?

If I could find one pair of jeans in my lifetime that fit my ass, I’d buy stock in them. Why is every pair of jeans made with that stupid stretchy material? It doesn’t help any. Do you think the fact that the material stretches, confuses me and I don't realize what I've got back there? Oh, I know, trust me. I just want a pair to fit. I don’t want it to fit when I take it out of the dryer and then be hanging down my crack a few hours later. Uugggghhhh…

Does this diaper make my butt look big?

As a heavy chick, I’ve always worried about Owen being fat. I think genetically, he is screwed so I go out of my way to make sure the meals he gets are balanced and that he doesn’t eat crap. We don’t keep ho-hos, chocolate bars or pudding in the house and I am very against him ever eating French fries. French fries make you fat…period. I’m not saying I haven’t had them because I have, but he is my responsibility until he is 18 and he’ll eat what I give him, or he won’t eat. Also, I’m fat so this just proves my French fry theory, right?

At 6 months when Owen weight 22 pounds, I was beside myself and harping to his Pediatrician about my worries and him being fat. He started eating solids at 3 months and has seriously never looked back He eats everything I give him, for the most part. He’ll be 2 ½ next month and he weighs 46 pounds. He isn’t fat at all; he’s just a very big and tall kid. It took me a while to come to terms with the number on the scale not saying it all, but I think I’m OK with it now. Or at least I understand that Owen is just a big kid. Big feet, big hands, big heart.

I think River is a different story. She’s at the 50% for weight and 75% for length. She’s more of what I would consider “normal” as far as weight goes. She doesn’t have gigantic features and at 6 months, I just moved her into a size two diaper and they seem huge on her. I tell her and Owen both everyday how beautiful they are and how proud I am of them but I worry that the things they hear me say to my husband or to the mirror about myself may stick with them longer and that makes me sad.

I read an article at our Pediatricians office and looked it up when I got home. It was in the Washington Post and it’s about how women can push their weight issues onto their children. I thought it was a great article and posted the link below. While I know I would never criticize my children for eating when they were hungry or eating what I would consider too much, I wonder what they’ll pick up from my own body issues. I mean, there is no pink elephant here, I’m a heavy girl, I know this but I also have some kick ass self esteem and I just wonder how that will play in the ears of a 5 year old girl. I worry more about River than I do about Owen and I assume the only reason for that is because she’s a girl. I don't plan on being the parent that makes them finish everything on their plate because there are starving children in Africa because that argument is lame. No kids believes it and it just makes you grow up paying more attention to getting rid of food you don't want than listening to your inner voice telling you that you're full. I think it sets a kid up for disaster if they are more prone to weight issues. I DO know that the article made me stop calling Owen “chunky butt” cause that may be OK when they’re two, but getting out of the habit before it sticks is a really good idea.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Sand and Water table....full circle.

So, we’ve come full circle with the whole sand and water table thing. I spent months hating on them, quietly (I think) cursing them when I saw them, and secretly smiling when Owen didn’t seem that interested. Now he has one.

While I would have bought one for him and even went looking, but couldn’t find one this late in the summer, I found one on Free Cycle. It was in great shape and just needed a good scrubbing. It doesn’t have the top so I’ll have to empty it every time we use it as not to develop a mosquito colony on my deck.

I set it up and filled both sides with water (because I HATE sand as previously stated) and put some of Owen’s toys in it. Then I waited for him to wake from his nap. I left him in his diaper cause what’s the point in wasting a swim diaper in my own backyard if no one is looking? When he saw that thing on the deck, he went “OOOOhhhhhhhh!” He was very excited and splashed till his heart was content. Well, not really, he screamed like a banshee when I brought him in, but I was getting hot. He then proceeded to do his drop to the floor and scream routine, but the joke was on him. Momma hadn't vacuumed in days so he was covered from head to toe in black dog hair. Take that Wally Whiner!

My only question about it is how do you keep your gigantic kid from crawling into it and buckling the legs? He id not understanding that he just can’t do that.

Thanks Laura and Alexa for making me see the light!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Play areas...the new baby sitter

Why is it that the mothers who let their kids run all over the place screaming and trashing the place are the same ones who say they would never allow their children to do this? I know that my little angel is very high energy and I sometimes take him to the park to run some of it off, but sometimes he gets out of control and I know it. I address it when it happens but I don’t then turn to other moms and say, “I would never let me son do that”

If you have two or three kids, one of them is 10 and the other is 1, there are some places you won’t be able to go if your 10 year old is a crazy person. I know this is in my future. Admitting it is half the battle. I have never met a mother who admits that they just can’t take their kids to the play area in the mall because one of them has a tendency to be crazy at times. That is why I can’t go there anymore. There are always older kids there whose parents are also there and just not paying attention while these kids breeze past mine on the way up the stairs to the slide. If that’s going to happen, it’s not best to happen when I’m there because I’ll address it and tell your kid to stop. I wouldn’t have to it you were paying attention to your own offspring. I’m there to make sure my kids are safe and happy not to spare your feelings when you’re too lazy to get off your ass and correct your kid yourself. But I'm not bitter.

River's 6-month visit

We took River to her 6-month appointment today and she seems to be doing great! She needed to put on some weight and she seems to be doing that wonderfully!

At her 2-month appointment she weighted 11 pounds, at her 4-month appointment, she only weight 11.6 pounds and that was kinda scary. She had dropped to the 10% for weight. Now at her 6-month visit, she weighed 15 pounds, 11 ozs. and is 26 ¾ inches long, which is the 50% for weight and 75% for height! This is great news and means she is bouncing back with the formula. Owen weighed 22 pounds at this point, but that’s a whole other subject.

It’s always nice when your kids are healthy. When River had lost so much weight it was very scary and then the guilt on top of that when you realize it’s because of your breastfeeding was too much so I am glad to see that she’s packed on the potatoes.

Check out the pictures I posted above. Doesn't my baby look like she's channeling Elvis?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sand and Water intervention.

I had an intervention of sorts today. I have always thought sand tables to be the dumbest thing you could buy for a kid. They drag sand all over your yard, your kid brings that gritty shit inside and you spend forever getting that crap out of your carpet only to find it later in your sock drawer or make up bag. That shit gets everywhere. I would think you’d be digging sand out of your kid’s asscrack every time they played with the stupid thing.

Today Owen played at Laura and Alexa’s house while I took River to class with me. When I left, I could hear him screaming, “Momma, Momma!” I was sad to leave him but knew he’d come around and have fun with those two because he always does. When I got back to their house to pick him up, he was on the deck with them, playing with the sand & water table and having a wonderful time! Laura didn’t have a sand side and a water side, she just had the whole thing filled with water and a bunch of toys floating in it. It made me see the table in a whole new light. Owen loved it and I decided then that I had changed my mind completely and would tell my husband we should think about getting one for him. So, I’m now in the market for what three days ago I swore up and down that I would never buy. I’m still not buying sand for it because I truly hate sand and just don’t want to deal with that gritty mess. Sand belongs on a beach!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

River uses a sippy cup for the first time

River turned 6 months old two days ago so I decided to introduce a sippy cup for her lunch.
Owen took months to warm up to a sippy cup but River only took one try. How is that even possible? She went right for it like it was just a normal thing. I truly believe that girls just come by this whole learning thing was easier than boys. I got the same kind I got for Owen. It was the only one he would drink out of for months and the first one he picked up and used by himself. I remember it well because it was after I bought over 15 or so, trying to find one he’d use. The NUK from Walmart is the way to go.

She even held it with her own tiny little hands. I tell ya, this kid is a friggen angel! It was nice to lay with her while we watched Days of Our Lives together while she enjoyed her first milk in a sippy cup. Good times.
Owen was not as happy with River's new accomplishment. I think he cried for about 10 minutes while pointing at River and what he thought was his milk. I guess it's fair. He has been the only one using little cups until now and the one I bought her is identical to him favorite cup. He's only human. Poor thing.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Jimmy Carter leaves the Southern Baptist Church

Today Jimmy Carter announced he was leaving the Southern Baptist Church because he doesn’t agree with its treatment of women. He has been a member of this church for over 60 years.

Said Carter in an essay:
At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.

It just goes to show you; really good men can be President. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. He may not have been a man who was the best President but as President, he was the best man. He's done for others his whole life. I'm not sure another Prseident has done so much for people with his bare hands after he left office.

Way to go Jimmy Carter!

River's Baptismal pictures

I had my daughter’s baptism pictures taken today by the same guy that does all of our pictures. He’s like a magician. He is the only person besides me who can get a good picture of Owen because Owen listens to him or he at least is so interested in him that he watches what he’s doing. But today wasn’t about Owen, it was about River and she did GREAT!

I took Owen’s baptism picture in with me because I wanted the picture to be framed the same and I wanted the shot from the same vantage point. I wanted them to look similar hanging on the wall together. I didn’t even care if she smiled or not as Owen didn’t smile in his and he looked beautiful. She wore the same baptismal gown that I bought for him but in her pictures she allowed me to put her baptismal hat on as well.

As it turns out, River smiled in every single picture today. She was in a very good mood and as soon as he said her name, she giggled like crazy. I’m kind of sad that this baptismal gown won’t come out again until one of them has kids. I remember searching everywhere for a gown that wasn’t too girlish but was still a gown. I wanted something that had an Irish feel to it. I finally found it online at It is a traditional cotton sateen bishop's gown / heirloom Baptismal gown ornamented with Venice lace and pin tucking on the gown and long sleeves and it is absolutely beautiful!

Her baptism on June 28th was a wonderful day and I’m glad I have these pictures to remember how beautiful she looked.

Monday, July 20, 2009

River is six months old today!

Our little River is six months old today! I can't believe it has been six months since I brought this little firecracker home from the hospital. I can't believe it's been six months since I first saw her beautiful blue eyes for the first time. I can't believe it's been six months since I saw her reddish hair and wondered, "Where the hell did that come from?"

She's a beautiful and wonderful baby. She sleeps through the night, eats everything you give her and almost never cries. Her eyes shine like diamonds. I'm a very lucky Momma.

Happy 1/2 Birthday River!

Our will...mission accomplished

We met with our attorney this morning to finalize our will. Even with all the questions we ask and the joking around we do (cause that’s how we roll) it is still an odd and sad thing to discuss what happens to your babies in the event of your death. The kids stayed with Karen, Cooper and Baby Jane while we did this so it made it a lot easier. I'm sure I would have gotten really upset if I'd had to discuss these things in front of them. I went in to ask our attorney a few questions before we finished the will, back when I was pregnant with River and Owen was with me and I got upset then, so I can only imagine.

Who gets the kids, who handle the money, who gets our stuff, it’s a daunting conversation. We decided to set it up so there would be no hurt feelings between our children should they be old enough to have the discussion about who gets our things. My thought was to add letters to the will to explain a few things regarding what is sentimental to me as it was passed down to me and would be saved for them if I were alive. I don’t want my grandmother’s china to go to the dump because the kids don’t know the significance of it. I just don’t want them to be upset or argue with each other about who gets what. The thought of their relationship being ruined because we left more of our sentimental things to one child than the other is unacceptable.

The thought of my children arguing over my wedding jewelry is a very upsetting thought for me. My natural instinct is to leave that kind of thing to River because she is a girl, but maybe it would be just as sentimental to Owen. Maybe he would someday want to give it to his wife. I don’t know. It’s a lot to think about. Hell, maybe neither of them wants it. I couldn’t even address my wedding dress. Hopefully all this is moot and they’ll both be well over 18 before we even have to think about any of this stuff. It’s nice to have the will done though. At least we know if anything were to happen that they’re covered both financially and physically.
One more thing, we're at the attorney's office and there is a quiet desk in the back with a rather prim lady sitting there who turns out to be our attorney's daughter. We learned this when she came in to witness our signing of the will. I walked by her at her desk on the way in and I swear she was wound so tight she could probably hold an egg salad sandwich between her knees with very little effort. On her desk is a lamp. It's kind of an antique looking lamp with a horn for the base. Who buys that? I couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever tried to blow it? I mean, if you sat at a desk with a horn on it for years, wouldn't you give it a blow? I wanted to do it when no one was looking but never got the chance. I can tell you this. If you are ever in my home and I have a horn, lamp or otherwise, I've tried to blow it at some point. I'm just saying....
Also, our attorney's name is Cooch. Cooch, I said. My theory on this is that if he got out of high school alive with a name like that, he deserves my business. He only giggled a little when I told him this.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Dear Mr. President....

I'm pretty proud that my daughter was born on Inauguration Day. I mean whether you voted for Obama or not, you have to see how it was a very big day for our country. It's almost like we collectively started wearing our big girl panties. I didn't think we had it in us and was pleasantly surprised when I was proved wrong. Whether Bush Jr. wants to admit it or not, he opened our country up to being ready for our first black President and we should thank him. If he hadn't completely fu*ked up our country so bad, a lot of people wouldn't have rebelled so much against the Republicans and it would have been business as usual with ole' John McCain leading the sho^%^(, oh excuse me, I gave myself the shudders..

I absolutely hated with a burning passion, the Bush administration. I thought Bush was an idiot and Cheney was the anti-Christ, and still do. I think Bush started a war because he has daddy issues and every "good blooded American" followed him without question, twice. Because that's what you do right, you blindly follow your leaders into war because "they know better than we do." I'm pretty sure that's how Germany was able to stomp across Europe and kill so many while people "just followed." Anyhoo, he's gone now and I think we won't hear too much from him until the history books need to update the "worst President ever" sections.

I had a son in 2007. When he was born I decided that even though he is a vile President, I should still get a welcome letter from the White House to mark my son's birth. I sent a letter in asking for the letter and about 4 weeks later, I got the letter in the mail, no problem.

After my daughter was born ON INAUGURATION DAY, I sent a letter to the White House requesting a welcome letter from our new President. I was told it would take about six weeks. I waited...nothing. I sent another letter to the Greetings Office. I waited over six weeks again...nothing. I was getting a little annoyed so I called the White House (which is a pain in the ass) I explained everything and asked what I should do as this letter is very important to me. The very helpful person on the other end told me just what to do. Fax a copy of the letter and explain my troubles. I did this, five weeks ago and ....nothing.

What the hell are you people doing that you can't send out typed up cards? It isn't like you're hand writing them, right? I voted for you. I stood in line with people who said horrific things about you and proudly voted for you anyway. I know y'all are busy dealing with the crap you were left while taking the blame for it, but send me my damn letter. It's important to us.

Pennsylvania Dutch Market in Annapolis

Today we took a trip into Annapolis to go to Omaha steaks. We bought a bunch of meat because they were having a really good special. While we were there we noticed a Pennsylvania Dutch Market and decided to go in and have a look around. This place was great! They have tons of spices, meats, fruits and veggies and what I think will be the best rolls I've had since the 6th grade. We're saving them or dinner. They also had a hot dog wrapped in a soft pretzel. Chris really loved it and Owen loved the smoothie samples. I plan to go back there again perhaps on a weekday when it shouldn't be so busy. I am so pissed that none of my friends told me this was there. I would have gone much sooner. I'll go there often, just for the spices along. I wish I'd known about it while Momma was here. She would have loved the pumpkin rolls they have. Very clean store too for what is essentially a little market and everyone who worked there that we spoke to was very nice and helpful. How often does that happen?

Nursing...a complete failure.

It finally happened. Every mother knows what this means. A day I’ve been dreading since my daughter was born. Almost 6 months to the day. I did everything to prevent it from happening and nothing worked. I have been defeated in one of the tasks that was the most important to me as a mother. I failed at nursing. I know this because the final straw came this morning. I got my period.

I knew it was coming. I could feel it but I acted like I couldn’t. Getting your period is nature’s way of telling your body that you are ready to get back to business as usual. It’s your body saying, I am ready to start again and prepare to have another baby, but this won’t be happening. River was my last chance to do it right and I tried as hard as I could, but I failed. While I know it isn’t my fault and that I did what I could to nurse her much, much longer, that just wasn’t in the cards for me and I find it very painful.

Nursing is better for babies, it just is. There is nothing wrong with giving your baby formula and I will obviously continue to do so but I could never understand how some mother’s don’t even try. I often hear my friend’s complain about how engorged they are and secretly wish I had those problems. While I wish happy and successful breastfeeding for all mothers, I’ve never been able to discuss this with another mom because I’ve never heard of it happening. I did everything I was supposed to and I still failed. Why did this happen to me? Does it happen to others? Am I the only one?

I had planned to nurse River for at least a year but because of health issues, I have had trouble since she was born, as I did with Owen. I’d hope to enjoy nursing for well over a year with both my children and never made it past six months. I mourn the middle of the night feedings that were so exhausting when it was just the two of us and I would sing while they giggled. I mourn the morning feedings while we lay in bed together and cuddle and possibly fall asleep together while warm from each other’s bodies. I mourn times when they were infants and my milk was all that sustained them.

So, today isn’t a happy day for me, it is a day of mourning. I have to make a trip to the store to buy tampons. I haven’t done this in ages and am not happy about it. I will wear black to make this purchase because that’s how I feel. If I didn’t always wear black it would be more noticeable, but still.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Airplanes landing and babies dying from cigarette smoke

So after my husband got off work tonight, we decided to take the kids over to Airport Park again. I wanted to watch my son wave the planes in while being amazed at the length of my daughter's eyelashes. If I weren't afraid to fly (which I was) before tonight, I am now, for sure.
The play area is literally right next to where the planes are landing onto this runway. It's a large airport so I'm sure there are many many runways, but on this one all of the planes come in one way and land in the same space. Tonight as we're watching the planes land, we noticed a Southwest plane abort it's landing and rise quickly at a point that looked like it was too late, but it made it so I guess that's a good thing. Perhaps they knew what they were doing after all, even though it didn't look like it. At least the plane came from the sky in the normal landing pattern, unlike the next plane.
As we were standing there talking about how scary the Southwest abort had been, it came round and landed correctly. Then we heard a plane too low and making an odd noise come out of nowhere and try to land on the same runway before realizing it wasn't going to make it and lifting up again. It was so low and looked like it was coming right at us that we started to grab our children to run. Because it was so low, it was obvious that is was a failed attempt at liftoff and they tried to abort and land quickly on another runway and missed the runway. They lifted at the last minute as I'm sure the food in the stomachs of the people on that plane did as well. WTF? Does this stuff happen all the time at airports but usually people aren't there to see it? I can't imagine those two terribly scary things just happen to happen in the time span we were there. If I had been on either of those flights, it would be my last flight.
We decided to cut our losses and leave as opposed to being there when the next one came hurdling towards the playground in a ball of fire. We decided to pick up Chinese instead of making dinner as it was getting a little late for the kids. We were walking over to place the order before going in to pick up a prescription when we past a lady on her cell phone. My husband said, "Good God, is that woman 75 years old and pregnant?" Now he wasn't making fun of woman of "advanced maternal age" as I had been one of those women, twice. He actually thought she was very old. I noticed she was smoking a cigarette so I said, "No, she isn't pregnant, she's smoking." Like that meant anything. Anyhoo, we get closer and walk by her, only to realize that is IS very old, she IS smoking and she IS indeed pregnant, very pregnant. The fact that she was maybe 55 or so became a lot less important when I saw her big belly amid a cloud of smoke. Who does that? How is that even OK in the eyes of a mother? I'm all for you making your own decisions and not having your government making them for you, but come on, care about the kid you're carrying. Also, if you don't care about your own kid, at least STOP BLOWING THAT SHIT TOWARDS MINE!

Sand tables

Am I the only one who hates them? Whenever we go to a playdate and someone has one, no matter how much I know or like them mom, I always find myself looking and them and thinking, what is it about that mo that makes the horrible mess of sand, not bothersome to them at all? How am I that different? Everyone seems to have one except for me.

When I break it down, I'm really not bothered by a lot of it. If one of his friend's poured sand on Owen, I wouldn't be upset. If someone throws sand in the pool, I'm not upset. I think it's just the feeling of the sand on my skin. I hate that. I hate the gritty feeling and how dry it makes my hands feel. It also makes me feel dirty and I can't understand how you keep the sand out of the house. Karen's house today was spotless. I even looked for sand in the carpet and nothing. I just will never have one of those at my house. I know if we had one that I'd find sand in my shoes, in the soap and even in the milk container. It would be everywhere.
Bubbles, on the other hand, bubbles are where it's at! My son gets excited when the bubble machine comes out and bounces up and down in anticipation! They keep the kids entertained and they don't really create a mess. Owen could watch and chase them forever! He tries to catch them and stand in front of the machine that blows them out and let the wind blow bubbles into his long blond hair. Sometimes I look at him and his hair is filled with bubble juice! It means he'll need a bath but at least I won't be digging sand out of his butt crack.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

16 and Pregnant

So my husband and I watched this show on MTV called 16 and Pregnant. I'm not sure what MTV hoped to gain from this (besides ratings) but it is just a terribly miserable show to watch. I've never seen families this stupid in all my life. It is a perfect example of how the cycle continues. I can't even imagine getting pregnant at 16. That is probably one of the reasons I WASN'T HAVING SEX!!! That way I don't have to worry about ruining a young life and my own.

The reason this show is so stupid is because once on every show the pregnant girls says, 'I haven't seen my friends in months." Ha! Yeah, me neither! Also, there is a token selfish "father" who screams when he has to get up in the middle of the night, which only makes the baby scream more. It makes me so mad to see the poor baby who is just confused at all the yelling. I know if the baby could speak he'd say, "get off your ass, shake it into the kitchen, make me a bottle and get over yourself!" Watching it makes me want to get on a plane, fly to NYC, find the producer responsible and bitch slap him. It's just terrible and it's almost like MTV tries to make it seem kinda neat. Revolting. I would be shocked at MTV if I weren't already asking myself what the hell happened to that station in the last twenty years.

Great! Now I'm going to bed pissed! Well, At least I posted a picture above of what a kid looks like when they aren't raised by chain smoking, recovering alcoholics on crack. Morons. Ugggg.

Rules for my Owen

Always stand up for what you believe in.

Be respectful of women.

Be kind to your sister, she looks up to you.

Do your own laundry.

Listen to your grandparents; they know what they’re talking about.

Always know that your parents are very proud of you.

Study hard.

Don’t be lazy.

Don’t settle for just any girl, wait for the best.

Be a friend your buddies can rely on.

Say “Please” and “Thank you”

Learn how to cook.

Don’t pee on the seat.

Never be ashamed of your family, it’s a waste of time.

Learn how to swim, it’s important.

Never let anyone tell you who you are.

Tell people you love them often.

Never apologize for what you believe.

Don’t be afraid to stand alone.

Take care of family pictures.

Don’t let a week go by where you haven’t talked to your sister.

Love like it can’t possibly hurt.

Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

Strive to be an excellent father. It’s what is most important.

Rules for my River

Never let anyone else define who you are.

Never allow a man to tell you that you aren't good enough.

Never allow someone to make you feel ashamed of who you are.

Be a leader, not a follower.

Never wait for someone else to do something for you. Do it yourself.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from.

Always tell people that you love them.

Study hard.

Always stand up for what is right.

Always be kind to your brother, he’s sensitive.

Whatever you believe, believe strongly and make no apologies for it.

Listen to your grandparents; they know what they’re talking about.

Sleep late when you can, it doesn’t happen often enough.

Dance even when you know people are looking. You won’t regret it.

Try everything at least once.

Don’t marry a man that isn’t as good as your father.

Go swimming, even if you don’t like how you look in a swimsuit.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Be loyal to your friends.

Never let your parents down, we love you.

Shake things up a bit sometimes, you’ll be better for it.

Drive better than I do.

Don’t be afraid to be different.

Take a lot of pictures

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I have two children. I have nursed both of them and I have failed miserably both times. If anyone ever says that nursing is easy, they are lying through their teeth.

My nursing with Owen started out just like anyone else's nursing. You take a class but really have no idea what the hell you're doing. It's the best frame of mind to be in when you're trying to teach a brand new person the ropes. So, you do what they tell you, feed, pump, feed, pump and everything seems to be going OK. The you wake up in the middle of the night with a pain like someone is killing you from the inside out. A trip to the ER later, you discover a kidney stone. This is probably the same kidney stone you told your OB you had only 2 months before while still pregnant, but no one believed you. After another trip to the ER later, they schedule you to have it blasted out cause it's just "too big to pass." So three weeks later after being on three different medicines, one being dilaudid, you have said stone removed and then they tell you that you can nurse your baby again. Yeah right, he'd been getting take out for three weeks! Why would he want to eat at home? He didn't and it ruined my nursing experience with my son. I vowed it would be different the second time around as it would be my last.

When River was born, I was gung ho! I knew what to do and how to do it and I would not fail! Except I did. I didn't take into account that I would be so sick after my c-section. When it came time to nurse her, I was so sick and throwing up so violently that I couldn't even hold her. She needed to eat so they supplemented her. I started to feel a bit better in the hospital and I was able to eat a bit and nurse her as well. When I got home I couldn't eat for about 2 months. I was sick to my stomach and the thought of food made me feel ill. I ate the bare minimum and my nursing suffered. Anything I did eat made it's way out with lightening speed and it was impossible to stay on top of it to get her and myself what we needed. River will be 6 months old in five days and I am still not right. I've been to many doctors and even went to a new one today so we'll see. River has really started packing on the potatoes and is bouncing back from dropping into the 10%, which was really scary for us. Even though I really tried as hard as I could to nurse properly both times, I will always feel bad that I couldn't do a better job. It was very important to me and I wasn't able to do it and I was hurt by that.

I am still nursing but it's almost more for myself than for her. I just love it so much so if it is only 5 minutes that I get here and there, it is worth it for me. She gets her nutrients from formula but the time I'm able to spend with her while nursing supplements me so I'll do it as long as she'll allow.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Canceled, a Birthday Party

We had plans to attend a birthday party on Friday. Owen's friend is turning two. He and his mom are in our playgroup with us and we were really looking forward to attending but it's been canceled. Our friend lost her cousin to pneumonia at only 40 years old. He was a new father with twin 18 month old girls. He only had 18 months with his sweet baby girls. How unfair.

I didn't know him and I won't go to his funeral, but I'm thinking about him and he'll stay with me for a while. The thought of not being here for my children haunts me on a regular basis. Having someone die that is only a year older than me and a new parent like myself, just makes it hit a little closer to home.

My babies are sleeping but news like this makes me want to go upstairs, wake them up and hug them. I really am very lucky and I sometimes take it for granted, even though I go out of my way to try not to. It's hard to remember how amazing your life is sometimes.

I said to myself earlier today, "Wow, today is a perfect day." Everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I got something done that I needed to do, Owen got to do things he wanted to do, we finished the day off with a dip in his pool and I have over 100 pictures to show for it. A couple of them are really good. So, it was a good day for us.

We have friends that didn't have such a great day and it makes us sad. No one should die at 40.

Taking the kids to Airport park

We hadn't been to the park at the airport in a long time. Probably last summer and before I was even pregnant with River. Owen never seemed to care about the airplanes landing right next to the play area and just played like he was at any other park. He would occasionally turn his head in a half acknowledgement that the planes were even there. However, today was different.
We had to go to Walmart to get a few things for some kids that our friend Michelle (from our mom's group) had adopted for back to school items. Walmart is right in the landing path for the airport and we often go there and hang out in the parking lot to see the planes landing. Over the winter months and into summer, Owen has really started to go crazy over planes. Sometimes we go to Walmart only to see the planes. Today after we shopped, we sat in the parking lot for a while to see if we could catch a few landing. Six planes in a row flew right over our heads and Owen's excitement seemed to grow. Then I remembered the park. After a search of my GPS and a call to a friend, we found the park. I immediately took Owen over to the semi covered area to see a few planes land and he just pointed at the planes, giggled with excitement and once the planes had passed him by, turned to see if he saw another shinny object in the sky.
We watched 3 or 4 planes land I then we walked over to the play area. I've never been a fan of this play area because A/ I think people go in the woods to either buy or do drugs and B/ instead of mulch, it is covered with recycled tires. A+ for effort, but the tires smell in the heat and they get black mess all over your kids clothes. It's one of those things that's great in theory but in practice, not so much. Also it's summer so school is out and kids that are too big to be playing there are all over that play area and it makes it unsafe for the little ones. I would have complained to a parent, but their parents were nowhere to be found. I guess they thought they were as annoying as I did and just wanted them out of the house. Great parenting!
For once, Owen wasn't interested in playing on the playground and just wanted to sit, watch the planes come in, ramble on about said planes and then wave as the planes went by. I wasn't complaining about this because I had River as well and wanted to keep my eye on her while she was in the stroller. So, we stayed for a little over an hour and watched 20+ planes come in. If you have one of these in your area, I highly recommend it because kids, especially little boys LOVE planes! It's just one of those great things to share with your kids.

My son's playgroup...then and now.

Owen is still the biggest one in the group.

The Annapolis Hip Mama Meetup Group

I was completely against joining a Mom's group. I'm just not one of those people who generally makes a lot of friends because I've never gone out of my way to do so. We bought a new house when I was pregnant because where we were living was unsafe. We ended up settling on the new house on my actual due date. Owen had come to us a week earlier via c-section and we moved to a new town within the same state, two days after we left the hospital. Needless to say, the move was a nightmare.

I quit my job in new home sales when my son was born and I've never regretted it. I get to spend all day engaging my kids and I love every second of it, even when Owen drives me batty! When he first came home, we didn't leave the house during the day unless we needed something. It just became our norm. Then when Owen was about 3 1/2 months old, I bought him a large inflatable pool for the backyard and we hung out back there a lot. One day, I asked my husband to help me empty it so I could clean it and possibly refill it for the next day. As he was doing this, he accidentally popped his finger through the plastic creating a BIG hole. The pool was destroyed. I was so upset. I must have cried for over 30 minutes. I yelled to my husband, "This is all we do!" He looked at me and said, "You need to get out more." He was right. I didn't even realize it but I had slowly been going crazy and it was all my fault. Why was I staying at home so much? I had a newborn, but he was older now and cold and flu season was over. I decided to change things up a bit.

I had heard a lot of talk from others about mom's groups. I decided I'd give it a try which is a giant step for a person like me. I went online to see what I could find and I found several and joined them all. Some I hated, some fell by the way side and some never even responded. There were a few you had to pay to join, but most were totally free! I became an active member of four of them and suddenly, my son had so many places to be and seemed to love all of it. He got lots more attention from other moms and he got to meet and play with kids his own age. We established weekly playgroups and began meeting with the same moms and kids every week. Over time, we didn't keep up with all of the mom's groups, but we stuck with the weekly playgroups we'd been a part of and it was awesome. The best mom's groups are listed on We weekly playgroups that were started in the EC Meet-up group and the GSPM Group. Although I'm not really in those groups anymore, we enjoy meeting with our friends and Owen seems to love playing with the kids who are really sweet. I've settled into The Annapolis Hip Mama Meetup Group. I was able to do more with them before River was born, but there are a group of us who do things tofether often and it's always fun. The girl who runs it is wonderful, you don't have to pay to belong, other women don't look at you like they're smelling onions (in my observation) and the women I've met have become my friends. Not to mention what Owen has learned from his friends. We all ended up liking each other so much that once a year, we have our kid's pictures taken together. It is a nightmare of chasing kids around and begging them to look up about for 30-45 minutes, but it's worth it when we compare this year's pictures to last years. So, I'm glad I got over myself and gave in. Joining a mom's group is one of the smartest things I've done over the last two years. Well, that and deciding to have another baby. She was a good idea too!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Photographing my kids

I am happiest when I am photographing my children. My husband often askes me to "put the camera down and enjoy the kids." He just doesn't understand that this IS how I enjoy my kids. My thinking is that if there isn't a photograph to document the event, did the event really happen? I'm only 38 and love to find an old picture from an event I'd forgotten about. If a picture hadn't been taken, I would have probably never gotten to relive the memory. There may be a day when I can't remember all of the wonderful things I am lucky enough to do with my kids now, but a photograph may be the difference between a wonderful memory and "Huh, why didn't we ever do that?"

What THIS mom knows....

What THIS mom knows.....

I know that no matter how bad I feel when I wake up, that I will smile as soon as I see my happy son and his endless energy.

I know that my daughter will smile and giggle through her crib as soon as I walk into her room.

I know that my husband always has my back, even if I might not be right.

I know that I am a very lucky mom and I have a wonderful life.

I know that I will always worry about my mother.

I know that when my house is hot, I feel poor and when my house is cold, I feel over indulged. Not sure why that is.

I know that to be embarrassed by your family is a waste of time.

I know that I will always hate trailers and that will never change.

I know that I always want a dog in the house, even if it drives me crazy. It just makes me feel safer.

I know that when I make something, I love it more than if I bought it. Even if buying it takes 1/4 of the time and is sometimes cheaper.

I know that I like when things work. I don't want to know how they work, I just want them to work.

I know that the most beautiful sight I have ever seen are the eyes of my children when they are smiling.

I know I will never stop taking pictures. One is too many and 1,000 is never enough. It's an addiction I can live with.

I know that whenever I am a bit stressed, I will always chew on the inside of my mouth and look for my Chapstick.

I know that I am lucky to be able to stay home with my children.

I know that I feel like I've earned my pillow when I put two beautiful, happy, healthy and content children to bed.

I know I'm lucky to have two healthy babies.

I know I will never be sad when my son jumps from my lap to greet his daddy at the door. This is as it should be.

I know I am glad I have a video monitor. I have no idea how you raise children without them.

I know I like a clean house and get stressed at a messy one.

I know I love watching my children sleep.

I know I can't wait for my daughter to be able to play with my son. He seems to really love her.

I know I'm the luckiest of Mommas!